Knowing is the Easy Part

Most of us have personal goals. We have things we want to work on and improve upon. Knowing what to do is usually the easy part. It’s the doing that’s tough. Let me impart a warning: Disrupt yourself before someone or something else does it for you. There are things you know you need to do. If you don’t take it upon yourself to start working on them, life will eventually do it for you and will likely have greater time pressures than you would have now.

I’ll use health as an example. Let’s say I want to lose 20lbs. I KNOW what I need to do to lose the 20lbs. I could disrupt myself and start eating better and exercising more. But I keep putting it off while the scale continues to climb. Then I go for my annual physical and the doctor tells me I have high blood pressure, I’m pre-diabetic, and I’m making my heart work too hard. Guess who just disrupted me? The doctor. She tells me I need to lose weight to turn these issues around before they start creating even more serious problems. How much do you want to bet that I’m kicking myself because I knew what I needed to do before things got so dire?

Where do you need to disrupt yourself before someone or something else does it for you? Are you drinking too much? Do you need to face the problems in your relationship? Is it time to learn some new skills for work? Are you ready to address your depression? Do you need to stop charging up those credit cards? Are you ready to stop enabling a loved one? Is it time to eat better and get more exercise? Only you know the answer, but wouldn’t you rather make the decision on your terms?

So, how can you get started? DO something. Don’t think, or plan, or graph, or participate in any other form of “research” or “preparation.” DO something. It doesn’t need to be big, but it needs to be something. Need to stop drinking? Dump everything in the house. Need to discuss relationship issues? Set up a time to talk. Need to start exercising? Go for a walk. Today. Right now.

If you give your mind enough time, it will find a way to talk you out of it. It will reason with you and explain why tomorrow will be a much better day to get started. But tomorrow always stays tomorrow. You need to stop thinking and start doing. You are racing against time. What is one action you can commit to right now to disrupt yourself and start proving to yourself that you can do it? Start there. Stop blaming others, or your circumstances, or the unfairness of it all, and take back control. Take action and create the disruption you know you need to be the best version of you.

Tell me in the comments section how you have disrupted yourself in the past and how it led to greater wins.

A great place to start taking action is scheduling an Empowerment Session with me! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session that is sure to leave you feeling motivated and excited about taking more action to make your life better!

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Taking Time for Rest and Reflection

I think back to when my kids were young, and I feel like I’m busier now than I was then. I think we all are. We’re just so busy. We’re always doing something, and when we’re not doing something, we feel guilty about it or make excuses for it. But it’s important to take time to rest and reflect. To be curious and wonder, and imagine, and consider possibilities. While on the outside it may appear we are doing nothing, on the inside we are doing very important work.

Rest can take the form of sleep, meditation, or just quiet time in your own space. Rest allows our bodies to heal and repair. But there are other ways to rest from our busy-ness and that involves activities that may not look like rest. Here are some examples:

  • Spending quality time with friends and family – What’s important here is the “quality” aspect of these gatherings. You need to genuinely enjoy time with these people in order for it to be considered rest. This could be a picnic, a leisurely walk, time by the pool, a shared dinner, or a chat over tea. These types of connections leave you feeling lighter and relaxed.
  • Sitting quietly with your eyes closed – This can be a more formal method of meditation, or just you being aware of each body part and focusing on relaxing each one.
  • Eating natural, easy to digest foods – We put our bodies through a lot of extra effort when we consume too much processed, hard to digest foods. Some toughies include: dairy, fried foods, spicy foods, chocolate, alcohol, carbonated drinks, beans. Try replacing a heavy dinner with a lighter one, like salmon and brown rice. Also, drinking lots of water throughout the day helps, too! (9-11 eight-ounce cups per day for women, 12-13 cups per day for men is the general recommendation)
  • Deep, relaxing breathing – Focus on your breath and fill your lungs with oxygen. Take a deep breath in for four counts, then slowly release for 8 counts. Focus only on your breath. Do this for two minutes and you’ll feel refreshed and rejuvenated.
  • Nap – Short naps (20-35 minutes) can recharge you and make you more productive. They can also help minimize the effects of lost night sleep.

Reflection may seem like a luxury, but it serves an important purpose. Reflection is the process of looking back on your actions, both good and bad, considering their outcomes, and using those conclusions to direct future actions.  Reflecting like this improves your problem-solving skills and strengthens higher level thinking. Give yourself some time to reflect on the following questions:

  • Am I using my time wisely – Sure, you may be busy, but are you busy in the right way? Are you balancing the areas of your life appropriately?
  • Am I being true to my values and beliefs – It’s all too easy to do what is accepted by others, but that may mean being untrue to yourself so much that you lose your own identity.
  • Have I set goals and made a plan to achieve them – Getting lost in auto-pilot is all too common. Make sure you don’t lose sight of a future by your design. You don’t want to realize in 20 years that you followed everyone else’s path.
  • What behaviors and tendencies have I improved in over the years – Noticing where you’ve grown and improved is an important step in the reflection process. It reminds you that you can change any aspect of yourself that you want.
  • What behaviors and tendencies do I need to work on – There’s always room to become the best you. Considering the stage of your life now and the future you desire, consider what areas need some attention and effort.
  • What actions do I need to take that I’ve been putting off – We all do this. We can get fearful or overwhelmed by “next steps.” Taking the time to consider what the next small step is can gradually lead us a little closer to achieving what we need and want.

Making rest and reflection a priority in your life can mean the difference between “passive living” and “active living.” Living is meant to be an action verb – so get living by incorporating more rest and reflection in your life so you can truly live a life that YOU design.

Share in the comments section your favorite way to rest and/or a reflection question you love.

If you would like to work together and turn your reflection into action, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

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What if Fear Didn’t Stop You?

We all have things we’d like to do, but fear stops us in our tracks. Fear has a place in our lives – it keeps us from making the same mistakes over again (like touching a hot stove) or doing things that put our life in jeopardy (like crossing busy highways). So, in and of itself, fear is not bad. But sometimes fear is delivered to us through our ego. There’s something we want to do, but somewhere in our mind we hear, “well if that fails, you’re going to look like an idiot,” or “what will people think of you?” It’s the Ego Fear that we have to try to get control of.

Do any of these situations resonate with you:

  • You want to start going to the gym – Ego Fear says, “Everyone’s going to stare at you” or “You’re going to look ridiculous trying to use all that complicated equipment.”
  • You have a question – Ego Fear says, “You don’t have enough information yet, just be quiet so you don’t look like a fool” or “Everyone else probably knows the answer and you’re going to look stupid for asking it.
  • A job opened up that you’d like to interview for – Ego Fear says, “You are nowhere as skilled as Jill, don’t bother applying” or “you don’t have a degree in that and it says one is desired.”
  • You want to try a new hobby – Ego Fear says, “Ballroom dancing? You have two left feet!” or “You’re terrible at keeping things alive and now you want to garden? What will the neighbors think?”
  • You’d like to meet new people – Ego Fear says, “You know how socially awkward you can be, save yourself the embarrassment” or “You’re so boring, what will you talk about?”
  • You want to start a business – Ego Fear says, “Sure, pyramid schemes are a great idea – Sucker!” or “Who’s going to buy from you? You’re not an expert in that field.”
  • You want to create a public workshop – Ego Fear says, “Who’s going to go to that? Maybe your mom and best friends will go just so you don’t feel bad” or “You’re out of your element here – you don’t even know people in this town.”
  • You want to say “No” to a request – Ego Fear says, “If you say ‘no’ they’re going to think you’re a bad person” or “Everyone thinks you’re so nice, saying ‘no’ will ruin that.”

While Ego Fear is trying to protect us, it assumes we need protection. It leads us right to the worst case scenario of a situation and makes mountains out of molehills. Ego Fear works in partnership with our inner critic, and if we give them control of our lives, they’ll take it. Then someday, you’ll look back and wonder what the hell you were so afraid of. You’ll wish you took those leaps. Looking back on your life now, even momentary blunders that felt embarrassing at the time, aren’t even a big deal anymore, right?

Courage is a muscle, and we have to use it to push through our ego fears. In Jia Jiang’s book, “Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection,” he literally made every effort to be rejected so he could “thicken his skin” and worry less about failure. He walked up to random houses and asked if he could practice soccer in their backyard; he asked strangers if he could borrow $100; he asked a dog groomer if they could give him a haircut. What he discovered was that most people were very nice, or at least not rude. He learned that his Ego Fear was way off base most of the time and was keeping him from living fully.

Don’t you think it’s time to stop letting your Ego Fear make your decisions? Don’t you think it’s time to know, once and for all, if that idea could really be a huge success? Try. That’s all you have to do. Try. Thank your Ego Fear for trying to protect you, but ask it to kindly zip it because you have work to do.

What’s something you’d try if your Ego Fear stepped out of your way?  Or, what’s something you finally did, in spite of your Ego Fear’s warnings, and found great benefits or success in? Share in the comments section.

If you would like to work together and kick your Ego Fear to the curb, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

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What Are You Doing With Your Gifts?

We have all been blessed with talents and skills, yet not everyone shares them with the world. Far too many hide their gifts. They believe their talents aren’t as worthwhile as someone else’s. They compare and minimize what they’ve been blessed with. They are embarrassed because they haven’t perfected their skills, so they keep them tucked away in all their unfinished glory never to see the light of day.

Can you relate to that? Do you have talents that you enjoy and know you’re good at, but compared to other’s you just feel like you’re not enough? That what you have to offer is just not enough? Do you worry that if you were to really put yourself out there that others would shame you or put you in your proper (lower) place?

You have been given gifts. Gifts that can make the world, even if only your small piece of it, better. Imagine giving someone you care deeply about the most incredible gift. The one thing you know they wanted. It brought you incredible joy to give them this gift. You know they are the right person for it. They have the ability to share it and make it unique and beautiful. But you notice they hide the gift. Maybe they only reveal it to a select few, but for the most part they hide it. Or maybe they act like it’s not really a big deal. You know it’s a big deal to them, but they act like it’s not. When you ask them why they hide the beautiful gift you gave them, they tell you honestly that they were so excited about it, and they truly love it, but they noticed that other people have bigger and better gifts. They feel as though they just aren’t able to properly share their “small” gift when there are so many others with better ones. You’d be crushed and sad to know this gift that had so much potential with your loved one will never blossom; will never have it’s time to shine.

In Jen Sincero’s book, You Are a Badass at Making Money, she shares a story about Prince opening for the Rolling Stones. Prince had not yet made a name for himself, but he was trying. He went on stage in a trench coat – just a trench coat. No pants. He was booed through his entire performance. They threw things at him. The next night, he was at the next show and again, he wore a trench coat and no pants. He met a similar fate with this new audience. Could you imagine if he stopped there? Could you imagine never experiencing the incredible talent of Prince? At that moment, it would have probably been much easier for him to quit and say his gift was just not up to the standards of the world. But he didn’t. He committed more fully to his gift and said he’d never open for anyone else. He would play his own shows with people who appreciated his gift. And that’s exactly what he did.

You have gifts and talents that you’ve been blessed with. They will not resonate with everyone, but they will resonate with the people that need it the most. You may know 100 people with that same gift, but they bring something a little different to it, just like you do. You will attract the people that need it the most and detract those that don’t. It’s all good. There are a lot of people in the world. There is room enough for all of us to share our gifts.  Hold yours up high, be thankful for it, and share it proudly with the world. This world needs you and your talents. Speak up, stand up and show us what you’ve got.

Time to share! What is a gift or talent you have and how do you like to share it? Share in the comments section.

If you would like to work together and discover the best way to share your gift, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

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Your Life – Are You In the Audience or On the Stage?

Life plays out differently for different people, but there are generally two places to interact from: The Audience or The Stage. There are those who observe life from the audience perspective. They tend to see life happening to them. Those who are on the stage are active performers. They tend to see life as very much in their control. Where you choose to be greatly determines how you feel about your life. Let’s take a closer look at these perspectives.

Audience Member

  • Often a victim of life’s circumstances
  • Feels as though everyone else’s needs come before their own
  • Has many “reasons” to explain why their life is the way it is
  • When things go right, they often feel “lucky”
  • They often see others as smarter, better, or better positioned than them
  • They feel powerless
  • They may have moments of wanting to take control of their life, but ultimately talk themselves out of it
  • They tend to complain
  • They think they fall short compared to others
  • Tend to be “people pleasers”
  • Often deal with issues as they arise, as opposed to planning for them or taking preventative measures
  • May wish for things to be different, but just don’t see how it could work for them

Stage Performer

  • Excited at all the possibilities
  • Sets goals and achieves many of them
  • Has many stories of overcoming obstacles
  • When things go right, they often feel proud
  • They don’t regularly compare themselves to others – they embrace their own uniqueness
  • Even when faced with unexpected challenges, they recognize that they get to choose how to handle them
  • They often try new things and aren’t afraid of failure
  • Instead of complaining about others, they self-reflect and control what they can control
  • Failure does not define or deter them
  • They balance their self-care and taking care of others
  • They plan and goal set to avoid obstacles
  • When they desire change, they take action and make it happen

So which one sounds most like you? I can honestly say I’ve spent significant time at various stages of my life as an audience member.  I was guilty of all of those things. I also left my “seat” and approached the stage, but got scared and returned to my seat. Maybe I chose a seat a little closer to the stage, but I still sat. Other times, I approached the stage, owned it and then gradually backed away to the comfort zone of sitting. There were times in my life where I actively chose to be an audience member. Maybe because I was just too tired to do anything else. Still other times, I sat in order to observe and learn from others who were excelling on their stage. There is no judgement here. There is no right or wrong. It’s up to you. Where do you want to be most of the time? Is it where you are now? If it isn’t, then you know what you need to do – you need to take action.

Tell me in the comments section one area within the Stage Performer list that you’d like to strengthen, and why.

If you would like to work together and find the strength to get up on your stage, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

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Why Courage is Crucial to Personal and Professional Development

When we are working on developing ourselves personally or professionally, this starts with courage. Developing means change, and change takes bravery. But it’s not just the courage to face change. You have to be willing to look in the mirror. I mean REALLY look in the mirror. There are many “mirrors” available that will show our reflection. How we look through our own eyes will only give us one perception. There are many.

Looking back on my personal and professional growth, there were aspects about myself that I just couldn’t see. Some, I just didn’t WANT to see. It was only when I truly considered the perspectives of others that I realized how I was self-sabotaging myself at times. This included qualities that were seemingly positive. I have a very strong sense of fairness and I tend to be very protective of the underdog. Both of these sound pretty good, but if I felt someone was behaving unfairly, or mistreating an underdog, I would get all salty about it. This translated to others that I was judgmental, as they could feel my disdain for their actions.  None of us like to be judged and giving this perception was something I needed to be aware of if I wanted to connect personally and advance professionally.

Having immersed myself in the personal and professional development sphere for over 25 years, I’ve seen how courage is a game-changer for those looking to improve. I’ve also seen how the lack of it delays development. I can’t count how many times someone has said, “That’s just the way I am.” These are dangerous words and an even more hazardous mindset. We all have the ability to change any aspect of our behavior that we wish.

When we look in the mirror, we have the benefit of knowing exactly what our intentions are. We KNOW we’re coming from a good and logical place in everything we do. Other people, however, do not have access to our intentions. They know what we say those intentions are, but they can only really view us based on our actions. It takes courage for people to share those perceptions with us. Feedback like this can be delivered really tactfully or in a way that seems really hurtful to us. But if you take feedback as “data points” and try to let go of the delivery method, there is much to be discovered here.

Take for example various feedback a person, I’ll call her “Jane,” may hear. Jane beats herself up for always waiting until the last minute and stressing herself out. Her friends jokingly complain she is always late. Jane’s boss asks that she work on prioritizing better to meet deadlines. A co-worker is overheard asking that he NOT be partnered with her on a project because he knows he’ll have to do all the lead work. It’s only when Jane has the courage to face all this feedback and address it that she will improve.

I can’t stress enough the importance of considering each of these criticisms as data points. Just the facts. First, the more we can remove any drama around this, the better. If Jane starts thinking that Sylvia made the comment about her always being late because Sylvia is a control-freak, then she has lost the valuable data point for herself. Secondly, when you are collecting data like this, you are ultimately looking for clusters of the same data. The example of Jane shows that planning or time management may be a challenge for her. There were 4 data points on this topic alone (hers, her friends, her boss’s, and her co-worker’s). But if some random comment is made by a person saying she’s selfish, but she has not heard that before, that one data point is likely just that individual’s perception and not a repeating data point for her to worry about.

The problem with feedback is not everyone is comfortable giving it. That means we have to be willing to use that same courage to ask for feedback. You can ask friends, family, supervisors, co-workers, etc. one question to start the ball rolling: “Can you share something I do or don’t do that could be perceived as negative by others.”  This question is genius in that it’s not asking the person what they think, which makes it safer for them to answer. Take the feedback with a smile, and give a sincere “thanks” to them for sharing it. Don’t try to justify it or explain it. Just take the data point and start plotting your responses. Don’t forget to include your own perspective, too.

The point of personal and professional development is not to bend to the expectations of others. Rather, it’s about being clear about how you are perceived and taking control to make sure you are viewed only the way YOU want to be.

Share in the comments section a time being courageous helped you grow personally or professionally.

If you would like to partner up and get some support on your personal and professional journey, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

If you’d like special offers, updates, and insider-only goodies, SUBSCRIBE to be a VIP! (It’s free and I won’t blow up your in-box!)


Spring Cleaning Your Life

Well, it’s officially Spring! That may mean you’ll start some Spring cleaning. Maybe you’ll pack up the Winter stuff and pull out the Spring stuff. Maybe this is when you’ll clean out a closet, a basement, or a shed. The new growth of Spring can cause us to reflect on clutter, baggage, and stuff that may block the way to new and improved change. And I don’t just mean physical stuff. This can apply to everything in your life.

Spring offers us a new beginning. If you live in a colder climate, then you may have been cooped up all winter and you envision Spring being the start of a new you. Maybe you’ll get more physical, eat healthier, or try something new. But whether it’s a closet or a lifestyle, your vision may not include everything that’s in it now. That’s not to compare an old coat to an old friend. Things are different than people. However, just like it may be time to donate that old coat, it may be time to let some relationships go. These may be relationships you have at work or in your personal life, or they may be relationships you have with yourself, like attitudes, limiting beliefs, and unhealthy behaviors.

Cleaning out the closets of your life can make space to enjoy what you really want to keep and make room for new additions. Taking an inventory of all the spaces in your life can help you determine what to keep and what to let go of.

Consider your vision for all the “closets” of your life:

  • Work/Business
  • Personal Relationships
  • Hobbies/Activities
  • Physical Possessions
  • Health/Wellness
  • Religious/Spiritual
  • Intellectual

How do you want these areas of your life to look and feel? What do you want to change? Which ones need a refresh or reorganization? Getting crystal clear on what you want, will help you determine what needs to stay and what needs to go. As you consider each aspect of your life spaces, what would you need to add to it, to achieve that vision? Is there anything currently in that space that is keeping you from reaching that vision?

Using the Work/Business space as an example, you may realize you need more confidence or maybe you need to build a relationship with someone you respect in that professional circle. You also may realize that your Negative Nellie co-worker is only bringing you down. The additions can seem a little easier to work on. There are plenty of materials and professionals that can help build your confidence. There are also many ways you could start building a relationship with that respected professional. Tossing out the co-worker is much more difficult. You may truly like your Negative Nellie, but you know she isn’t helping your mindset or your vision to advance in your professional sphere. The beauty of dealing with people is there are many more options. You could have a conversation with this co-worker, for example, stating you are working on changing your mindset, and you could use their help by focusing only on the positive or actionable steps you could take. They may need a refresh, too. The point is there are plenty of options.

I’m certainly over-simplifying a complex part of life. These actions aren’t easy and there are many nuances to our relationships and lifestyles. However, if you have visions of change and growth, you’ll need to get clear on that vision in some area of your life, know what’s in your “closets,” and what you need and don’t need to reach that vision.

A great place to start that vision is by sharing it in the comments section! Tell me one area of your life you’d like to improve on this Spring.

Don’t you think it’s time to start cleaning out those closets and living to your fullest potential? Are you ready to develop a plan for living a life by YOUR design? Get Un-Stuck and schedule an Empowerment Session! Take advantage of a complimentary strategy session!

If you’d like special offers, updates, and insider-only goodies (like the monthly newsletter with book reviews), SUBSCRIBE to be a VIP! (It’s free and I won’t blow up your in-box!)


Are You Using Your Superpowers?

Yes, you have superpowers. You have strengths and passions that because of their unique combination, make them special. Sure, there are likely plenty of people that are great at the same thing, but they don’t have the same combination of skills that you do. That makes you pretty freakin’ special!

When life gets busy, it can be easy to take these strengths for granted. In fact, we can get so busy focusing on our weaknesses or just trying to survive each day, that we may forget about our strengths and how far they’ve brought us.

I’m reading What Alice Forgot, by Liane Moriarty. The character Alice falls at the gym and hits her head. After speaking to others, she realizes that she has no memory of the past ten years. (You’ll get that book review in an upcoming monthly newsletter that only VIP subscribers get – so subscribe if you’d like in on that.) Anyway, that made me reflect on how much I’ve changed over the past ten years. It’s kind of startling when I think about it. This also caused me to realize something important – it was my strengths that brought every good change I’ve experienced.

Interestingly, it wasn’t always the strengths I recognized that brought about important change. I have often relied heavily on my sense of humor, my love of people, and my optimism to help me get where I was going. But when I look back on the last ten years, there were different strengths that propelled me forward. My willingness to be honest with myself about my shortcomings, my willingness to change, and my willingness to work hard were the ones that showed up the most for me. And I hadn’t really given those strengths any credit before realizing this.

I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and suggest that maybe you’ve done the same thing. Maybe you’ve forgotten that you possess many great qualities, strengths and passions. Maybe there are others you haven’t really paid much attention to. Try that exercise. Think about who you were ten years ago and compare that to who you are today. I’ll bet you’ve grown and learned lots of lessons. I’ll wager that you’ve overcome hardships and difficulties in large part because of your strengths. I bet many of those strengths will help you grow and evolve even more over the next ten years.

Knowing that, are there any strengths you can identify that will help you get where you want to be ten years from now? What aspects of your life would you like to be different and how could your strengths help you get there? These introspective questions can help you achieve your goals. Work on taking an inventory of your many strengths and passions. Bringing these superpowers to the front of your mind will make them that much more accessible to you when you need them. These are “tools” that are at your disposal whenever you face a challenging situation.

A great way to honor these superpowers is to share them, so tell me in the comments section a superpower you possess and how it has helped you in the past. Don’t be shy. Remember, your individual strength may be shared by others, but yours is in a unique combination of others you possess so shine some light on it by sharing in the comments!

Don’t you think it’s time to start using those strengths to their fullest potential? Are you ready to develop a plan for living a life by YOUR design? Get Un-Stuck and schedule an Empowerment Session! Take advantage of a complimentary strategy session!

If you’d like special offers, updates, and insider-only goodies (like the monthly newsletter with book reviews), SUBSCRIBE to be a VIP! (It’s free and I won’t blow up your in-box!)


How Our Beliefs Can Limit Us

We all have belief systems. There are things we believe to be true. Mechanically, our brains help us to hold onto beliefs by “proving” them to be valid. For example, if you believe most people are good, you will find plenty of examples in life to prove this to be true. Likewise, if you believe most people are shady, you will find evidence of this as well.

The challenge with beliefs is that they are often limiting. This is true for both negative and positive beliefs. For example, if you believe that everyone is just out for themselves, you may be missing out on connecting with someone who truly wants to offer you support because your beliefs will convince you that they must have an ulterior motive for wanting to help you. Likewise, if you believe that you are so skilled and confident that you really don’t need anyone else’s help, you may face the same problem as the negative belief. You will not accept help. In both of these examples, your beliefs limited your results.

Beliefs, in and of themselves, are not “bad.” It’s up to you to determine which beliefs you’re willing to part with or consider alternatives to. Consider any that may be holding you back. These can often be identified as “reasons” you can’t escape a difficult situation. For example, you may believe if you leave your job, you’ll never find a better one or make the same rate of pay. There are plenty of examples of people leaving a job, struggling a bit, and then catapulting to a whole new level in their career. You may believe that being vulnerable in a relationship makes you appear weak, but if you look, you’ll find plenty of evidence suggesting the opposite is true.

So how can we alter our beliefs or at least be more open to others?

  • Question your beliefs – When you catch yourself, you can ask, how did this belief come into existence? Was it childhood or a bad experience or a scary event? Are you even sure you actually believe it?
  • Avoid totality statements – Words like, ‘always,’ ‘never,’ and ‘every’ should serve as red flags to you. Challenge those totality beliefs.
  • Think of times a belief has been untrue – If your inner critic keeps telling you it takes a long time to learn new things, try to think of times when you picked up on something quickly. Our brains like to make connections, so change the direction to finding examples that disprove our beliefs.
  • Try starting a belief statement with “sometimes” – Instead of making a belief so permanent, like “I’m awkward when meeting new people,” change it to, “Sometimes I’m awkward when meeting new people, and sometimes I’m very comfortable.” This opens up dual beliefs that can open up new perspectives.

When we loosen our grip on our beliefs, we will naturally open up to other possibilities. We no longer need to be confined and limited by what we believe. This opens our minds to new ideas, solutions, and approaches to life. We can be more creative, innovative, and flexible when we can look at the world with alternate views. This can also be very beneficial to our inner world and the beliefs we hold about ourselves.

In the comments section, share a limiting belief you once held and how changing it opened up new possibilities for you.

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The Trouble with Goal Setting

I’m a fan of goal setting. I love setting goals and planning how I’m going to achieve them. I find the whole process exciting. Sometimes, though, the goal doesn’t get achieved. Not because I didn’t really want it, but because along the way I fizzled out. Or the goal happens, like in weight loss, but it doesn’t stick. I don’t maintain that ideal number. That’s the trouble with goal setting sometimes. It starts off being a motivator, but can end up being a de-motivator. That, my friends, is unfun. But does this suggest that we shouldn’t set goals?

There is absolutely a time and place for goals, so I’m not suggesting you get rid of them altogether. However, sometimes that can stifle our progress. So what’s an alternative? Setting a direction. Direction is broader, less defined, than goals. It’s the difference between losing 20lbs and living a healthier lifestyle. The goal of losing 20lbs is very specific, whereas the direction of living a healthier lifestyle is broad and open to lots of possibilities. It can lead to a feeling of success more easily than the weight-specific goal. You can feel successful if you added more fruits or veggies to your diet one day or walked for 20 minutes another day.

Another great feature of setting direction, is it allows you to be more curious. With goals, you have a clear path with milestones along the way. A goal of traveling cross-country will have a clear path on how you’ll get there, and what towns you’ll stop in along the way. With direction, you don’t need to plan everything ahead of time. You can choose your path as you go. It may not even be a straight path – you can zig zag as you find what feels best for you.

What’s wonderful about both goals and direction is they both lead you forward. They both require action. This means you should not feel any guilt about focusing on a direction instead of a goal. If you’re exploring something new, sometimes it’s best to start with direction first and then as you get more certain about specifics, you can start developing some goals. For example, if you want to increase your physical activity after years of being a couch potato, it may serve you better to set the direction of being more physically active in general. Then, as you explore different ways of doing this, you may find that you enjoy being outside more than inside and you can develop goals around this realization.

If goal setting has been something you’ve avoided, or has frustrated you in the past, give direction setting a try instead. I think you’ll find many benefits to this more general, flexible approach.

Share in the comments section a direction you set for yourself in the past and where it ultimately led you.

If you would like to work together and develop a plan for living a life by YOUR design, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

If you’d like special offers, updates, and insider-only goodies, SUBSCRIBE to be a VIP! (It’s free and I won’t blow up your in-box!)