Top Ten Positive Qualities of Bitches

bitch

When I think of the qualities I most want to possess, “bitchy” has never been one of them.  But maybe it should be.  Hear me out here peeps.  “Bitch” has several definitions, but I’m referring to the version used for women who behave in a demanding, dominant, dismissive and/or insensitive way.

So why would I EVER want to possess any characteristics related to this behavior?  Because, while this label is associated with undesirable conduct, there are some lessons we ladies could learn:  Here are my Top 10 Positive Qualities of Bitches:

  1. They are decisive
  2. They are clear about their expectations
  3. They communicate their needs succinctly
  4. They don’t let obstacles stand in their way
  5. They have a plan
  6. They aren’t concerned with what other people think of them
  7. They stay focused on their goal
  8. They make certain their needs are met
  9. They use all available resources
  10. They expect to succeed

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’m a recovering people pleaser.  I tried so hard to please everyone that it would slow me down in making a decision.  I also cared way too much what others thought of me, so my needs often ended up on the back burner.  I’ve found that embracing qualities that can be associated with being a bitch has helped me communicate more clearly and achieve more of my goals.

So while I’m not suggesting you now strive to become The World’s Biggest Bitch, I think as women we could benefit from turning our bitch up at times.  You don’t have to become a mean girl, in fact, please don’t, but be decisive, be assertive and expect to succeed. Communicate your needs respectfully, but unapologetically.

Everything is degrees.  Assertiveness is great, but if it’s turned up too high it becomes aggressive; turned down too low and it’s timid.   Fine tune your inner bitch and let her help you achieve your goals.

Tell me in the comments section which of the Top 10 Characteristics you could “turn up” to gain more satisfaction in your life.

How a Conversation with my Young Self Reminded Me to Play Big

iStock_000010510059SmallAt the risk of raising suspicions that I’ve been sniffing Wite-Out, I’d like to ask you a question.  When was the last time you had a conversation with your eight-year-old self (or any younger version)?

At the closing of a conference I recently attended, participants took part in a guided meditation.  During this guided meditation, we briefly glimpsed younger (and older) versions of ourselves who smile and point us on our way.  This exercise got me thinkin’!

If I was able to meet with myself as a child, what questions would she ask me about how life has been? This thought alone brought me a (surprising) amount of emotional pain.  See, as a child, I was optimistic, excited, curious, and filled with a hope that couldn’t be distinguished, (like most children I suspect).  While, for the most part, I’m still all of those things, there’s one thing that has dimmed.  I was a Fearless Dreamer.

By Fearless Dreamer I mean there was no dream too big for me.  I could be a firefighter, astronaut, college professor, lawyer, humanitarian, philanthropist…anything I could imagine.  I could drive a hot pink convertible Corvette, have a huge apartment in Manhattan and a beautiful country home in my hometown.  Yes, all of these, and more, were the things I dreamed about.

So why does the idea of meeting with my child-self make me sad?  Because I think I’d disappoint her.  I picture her excitedly trying to guess which of my dreams came true. “Are you a college professor? Do you have a Manhattan apartment with a beautiful view of the city at night? How many kids did you have? Did you change the world and make it better?”  On and on she’d go, ticking off questions quicker than I could answer them.

Then my adult-self would begin to say things like, “well, it’s complicated.  See, it’s not as easy to accomplish those dreams.  There are bills and obligations and responsibilities…” It’s at this moment, that her face goes from bright eyed excited curiosity, to confused bewilderment that shows on her furrowed brow, to a disappointed, shoulder drooping, sad glance down to her lap.  As if I told her there was no Santa Claus or Easter bunny.

This image makes me sad.  Very sad, in fact.

That is until I start coaching myself.  I’m all about perspective (as you probably know), so how could I shift my perspective to a more positive angle, while still being truthful?

Well that wasn’t as hard as I thought.  I imagined a new and improved conversation with my child-self.  I’d say, “Well, I didn’t accomplish those dreams in the way I thought I would when I was you, but I accomplished many.  I have an office that feels warm and welcoming, has lots of sunlight and the sound of birds chirping.   I’m not a college professor, but I’ve been able to help people be more optimistic, excited, curious and hopeful about life.   I’ve helped them to dream big, thanks to you.  And also thanks to you, I’ve continued to dream big.  In fact, I’m working on a big dream now!“  This is where she says to me, “So dreams really DO come true!”  She jumps up, gives me a big crooked-toothed smile that reaches her eyes, a tight hug and runs off towards that swing set she so loved to dream on.

All I know is that I have more work to do to make even more of my dreams come true.  Meeting with her reminded me to stop putting limitations or restrictions on my dreams.  If I can dream it, I can be it.  Care to join me?

Tell me in the comments section how you would feel meeting with your young self and what you could still learn from that version of you.

Using Your Smartphone as a Crutch

Picture this:  It’s nighttime. There’s a woman alone at a bar, wearing a skirt and flowy top with a glass of wine in front of her.  Two seats away, there is a man in a suit.  After several minutes, the woman leans towards him and says, “So, what brings you here?”  Is this woman trying to hook up with this guy?  Is she a prostitute?  Neither.  “This woman” is me.

A few weeks ago, I flew solo across the country to attend a conference where I was guaranteed to know absolutely no one.  While most who know me would describe me as outgoing, friendly and assertive, I also have a very shy side.  This means that networking can be a challenge for me because I don’t want to seem like that self-promoting, narcissistic jerk that I’ve had the misfortune of encountering in the past.

So my first night at the hotel, I went to the hotel restaurant and sat at the bar to get dinner.  I was looking around, observing people and noticed the guy two seats over was doing the same.  For the record, I was wearing a long maxi skirt and an American Eagle hippy-like blouse.  This is NOT my go-to outfit to convey sex appeal.

I’m pretty sure that the guy initially thought I was trying to pick him up or something.  This reaction to my first “step” outside my networking comfort zone could have been enough to have me quit the whole thing, but I stayed strong.  I continued leading the conversation for several minutes before he warmed up to me.  Truth be told, I was really just trying to prove that I wasn’t, in fact, a prostitute.

What really struck me was how many people were holding their smart phones in hand, while intermittently glancing around the room.  I sensed they wanted to talk with someone, but didn’t know how to begin a conversation.  Their phones nothing more than props to show everyone else they did have friends just a text away and were NOT desperate.

I began to reflect on how often I use my phone as a crutch to avoid starting a conversation with a stranger.  To be noted, I did strike up conversation with two other men who also gave me odd looks initially.  I don’t know where my fellow female tribe members were, but there’s a good chance they were eating comfortably in their hotel rooms texting their friends.

Oddly, none of these men were attending the conference, but they served as good practice for me.  I put my phone away and just went with it.  While admittedly it was a rough start, I did find that repetition made me less awkward.

I made many new friends at the conference.  Had I not stepped outside my comfort zone I would have missed out on the opportunity of meeting some amazingly talented and fun people.  Since then, I’ve also noticed that it’s easier to strike up conversation with strangers.

Remember, your friends and lovers were once just strangers to you.

Is it just me? Is everyone else comfortable in these situations? If you can relate, tell me in the comments section what tactics you use in these situations.  These can be either how you avoid interaction or how you engage in interaction.

Exploring Your Negativity

I’m a very positive, non-judgmental kinda gal.  However, recently I drove by a billboard that had a woman decked out in German attire holding a nice big mug of beer.  She looked kind of silly.  Well not “kind of”, she looked ridiculous.  As I drove beyond it, I couldn’t stop wondering what she was thinking posing for that billboard dressed like that.   How does she respond when her friends tease her about it?  What about when she’s grocery shopping?  She must get those odd glances from fellow shoppers.  How does she feel about being the “Billboard Lady”?

Then I started wondering: Why do I care? Why am I spending so much energy trying to get in this woman’s head? Why am I feeling such negativity about it?  And then it hit me.  I would never have the kahunas to dress like that and have it plastered on a billboard.  I’d be too worried about what other people thought about it.

I’m all about embracing your authentic self without regard to how others judge you, and yet here I was.  Feeling negativity towards a woman who clearly didn’t give a crap what others thought about her billboard image.  In fact, maybe she felt pride to be the one pictured.  Maybe that’s her German restaurant and she’s damn proud of it.  Either way…You Go German Girl!!

This incident has led me to reflect on my own insecurities when I have a knee-jerk reaction to judge someone else.  These are the questions I ask myself:

Why do I care? – This is the first question to determine where the negativity is coming from.  If it involves harming someone or something else, then I’m probably justified.  Otherwise, it’s likely pointing at an internal issue.

What’s my issue with it? – That middle aged mom clearly wearing her teenage daughter’s clothes.  I’m not the “Fashion Police”.   What’s my issue?  Am I jealous that she can pull it off?  Am I insecure in my relationship and concerned she’ll steal my romantic partner’s attention?

How can I work on this now? – Once I’ve identified the insecurity, I can work on it.  Using the example above, I would ask myself if I’m not confident in my own appearance, what can I do to change that?  Or, if I’m concerned about a straying partner, what work needs to be done in the relationship?  Is that insecurity because I’m not confident in my appearance or is my intuition telling me something is going on?

Ultimately, I’ve found this type of reflection incredibly beneficial to understanding what aspects of my life I need to focus attention on.  Exploring the root cause of any negativity helps me understand myself, and others, better.  Look within first.  It’s a good practice to living a positive, authentic life.

Tell me in the comments section how this resonates with you.

Empty Your Mind to Spark Creativity

There are an endless amount of books and workshops dedicated to the topic of creativity.  We’ve all heard at one point or another that incredibly annoying phrase: “Think outside the box”.  Whether your work is in art, construction, accounting or management, we all need to get creative in order to be innovative and cutting edge in our chosen field.

The creative process begins in our brain.  Many of us, however, are using so much of our brain power to remember “stuff” that we aren’t leaving a whole lot of space for being creative.  We are so busy trying to remember appointments, plans, schedules, dates, names, numbers, facts, responsibilities and about a thousand other things, that we can’t very well afford a lot of time and energy on creativity.

So what to do?  Get all of that “stuff” out of your head! Here are my Top 5 tips to activating your creativity by emptying your mind:

#5 – Learn To Say “No” – You can’t do it all.  Respectfully decline requests and favors that you just don’t have the time (or interest) to do.  Creativity takes time, so using your time wisely will contribute to your pièce de résistance.

#4 – Practice the Two Minute Rule – Sometimes procrastinating on a task uses more energy than if you had just done it in the first place.  A great rule of thumb is if you can take an action on something in two minutes or less, just do it.  This works really well for email and delegating.

#3 – Write (or record) All Those Amazing Ideas – I tend to think of the most ingenious ideas when I’m driving, waking in the middle of the night or showering.  Then I promise myself to remember the idea at a more opportune time.  Which I don’t.  So when the next epiphany strikes, write it down or record it on your phone’s voice recorder immediately (or as soon as you’re out of the shower)!

#2 – Get Everything (yes, EVERYTHING) Out Of Your Head And Down On Paper – This was no easy task, but a truly life-changing one.  I literally wrote down every single thing I was trying to remember:  Upcoming birthday’s, errands to run, emails to send or respond to, phone calls to make, ideas to research and explore, shopping lists, to-do lists and so on.  This exercise took about an hour but resulted in nothing but space in my brain (zero points for any and all jokes resulting from this line!).  I truly had nothing to think about but ideas, concepts and theories.  It was like having Disney World all to myself!

#1 – Use A Project Organization Software Program  – You aren’t freeing your mind if you don’t trust the system you use to maintain all the “stuff” you just emptied. You can use a good old fashioned filing system, but I prefer Nozbe.  (There’s a free version too.) I put everything I wrote down in Tip #2 into my Nozbe account which alerts me when an action is due.  So Nozbe does the remembering for me.

Some of these ideas came from David Allen’s book “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” which is also featured in my March ‘Recommended Read’.

If you’d like to take your creativity to the ultimate level, I recommend that you check out two of my favorite books on the topic:

“The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield                                                                                                               “Steal Like an Artist” by Austin Kleon

I’m not kidding when I tell you these steps have been life-changing for me.  The first few days after using them, I came up with some really original and creative ideas.  I was also more relaxed and quicker on my feet because I wasn’t using so much of my brain power to remember things.  Tell me in the comments section how you keep your creativity charged.

Hurry Up and Wait – 4 Steps to Achieving your Goals

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I sure am ready for Spring!! Right around the end of February each year, I start to get that itch to go outside and do things.  (That ‘itch’ is in hibernation pretty much from November through February for me!)

As Spring in New England approaches, I plan hikes and excursions and bike rides and picnics and parties and horseback riding and on and on and on.  There’s just one little thing…I don’t actually DO half of it.  I talk about it excitedly, even research where I’ll go or how I’ll do it, but ultimately, it’s the same old, same old.

I’m in this big rush to do stuff, and then I wait for the next weekend or holiday or season.  But when November returns, I realize I really haven’t done what I was so excited about in the Spring and Summer.  So how is this year going to be different? I’m so glad you asked!

First I’m going to identify my goals.  My youngest will be college-bound in only two years, so I want to put an even bigger emphasis on quality family time.   I want to be more physically fit than I was last year.  I want to focus on delivering more innovative, kickass results professionally.  I want to build relationships with more people beyond my inner circle.

Then I’m going to brainstorm actions that support those goals.  I will consult with family members to come up with activities we can do that everyone will enjoy and commit to.  To meet my physical goal, I will reach out to those who can help keep me motivated and challenge me (I have WAY too many “Mud Runner” friends!!!).  I will avoid “death by research” and take action on my findings each week.  I will schedule time to network or take advantage of opportunities that will expose me to new people.

Weekly ‘pulse’ checks will keep me on track.  I will review my week every Sunday to see which goals I met and any periods where I went off track.  Then I will look at the week ahead and ensure there are enough actions planned that align with my goals.  As new opportunities arise, I will ask myself if they will contribute to, or take away from, my goals.

Finally, I’ll yell it from the rooftop!  For a little accountability fun, I’m going to make sure anyone and everyone is aware of my goals AND schedule a time to Pay the Piper! There’s nothing like a weekly blog for this step!! SOOOO….my November 16th, 2014 blog post will be my “Pay the Piper” post (say THAT ten times fast!!)!

So tell me in the comments section, when do you find yourself ‘hurrying up just to wait’, which of the four steps above would help you the most and what tips do you have to ensure you accomplish your goals!  I’d love to hear from you!!

8 Tips to Upping your Proactive Prowess

Are you exhausted after work each day?  Mentally and physically drained?  Do you feel like most days you are just putting out one “fire” after another?  I know I’ve been there and I speak to people almost every day who are there.  This type of energy expenditure is not sustainable.

First of all, let’s consider your health.  It is not healthy to be in a “state of emergency” every day.  Our bodies aren’t equipped to deal with constant “fight or flight” issues.  This type of overwhelm can result in poor eating and exercise habits potentially resulting in increased blood pressure, elevated cholesterol and other health concerns.

Secondly, if we use all of our energy in our work, what will we have left to give ourselves and those we love?   We need to nurture ourselves and our relationships.  Over time, neglecting these areas of our life can lead to depression.

Thirdly, how does this look from a professional standpoint?  While we all have to be able to react to a work crisis effectively, it shouldn’t be consuming our every day.  Put yourself in your boss’s or client’s place for a moment.  Would you promote/hire the person who put the most fires out, or the one who prevented the most fires?

Ready to hop off this fiery crazy-train?  Here are 8 tips to upping your proactive (Smokey the Bear) skills so you can save your reactive (Firefighter) ones for real crises:

  • Take a Crisis Inventory – Write down the most common fires that occur in your day-to-day operations.  This may include an employee calling out of work, an angry customer, a piece of equipment breaking, etc. (You are likely going to have to do this exercise on your own time if you are too busy putting out fires every day).
  • Make a Plan – Using your Crisis Inventory, make a list of actions you could take to address each issue, then actions you could take to prevent each one.
  • Communicate to the Team – If you have others on your team, it’s likely they are dealing with these fires as well.  Communicate your emergency plan with them and leave the plan accessible to them so they can react appropriately without direction from you.
  • Take Breaks – Step away from your work day to regroup and rest.  Eat a healthy snack, turn off the phone for 5 minutes, step outside for some fresh air, you get the idea.  Clear your mind.
  • Keep Sight of the Forest – Don’t get so wrapped up in your fires that you lose sight of the big picture.  What is your ultimate purpose and goal? What potential hot spots could surface over the next month, quarter, year?  Write these down and make a plan for addressing and preventing each one.
  • Quit the Blame Game – Control what you can control.  Take action where you can and act.
  • Use Your Resources – Communicate your needs to others who can help you.  These may exist internally or you may have to outsource, but help is always available.
  • Be a Smoke Detector – Check throughout the day, week and month for “smoke”.  Train your team to do this as well.  If you can catch these hot spots before they become fires, you my friend, will be on your way to becoming a Proactive Master!!

Take control of your workday instead of letting your workday take control of you!   Share in the comments section which one of these steps you need the most and any tips you have to help others take the wheel of the Proactive Train!

Sending the Wrong Vibe – 6 Tips for Conveying the Right Message

I recently had a conversation with someone who is described by others as “ornery”, “cranky”, “miserable” and “mean”.  A few of these same people also threw in that he “had a good heart though”.  I knew him as being a little ‘rough around the edges’, but he had always been pleasant with me.  So when I saw him, I asked how he was, what was new, how life was, etc.  During this conversation, he said something that struck me.  He said something to the effect of, “Life would be so much better if people were just nicer.”

I replayed this conversation many times in my head over the next week.  I tried to see the world through his eyes, considering every possible angle.  Like trying to solve a puzzle, I was trying to correlate his perceptions with those of the people around him.

How could someone, described as he was, be so unaware of how he was contributing to his own unhappiness?  Didn’t he realize that the vibe he was sending to others was off-putting and unapproachable?

I started to think of times when I had an expectation of someone I was speaking to.  Maybe I heard they were condescending or I feared they would be unimpressed with me.  And guess what?  Most of the time I was right, but not because of who they were, but because of who I was projecting myself to be.

Was it possible that I was sending a vibe that invited someone to be condescending with me?  Could I be unimpressive because that’s the unspoken message I was conveying to them?

Call it “Law of Attraction”, “Power of Suggestion” or “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”…I’ve found it to be true.  As so many of you have commented on your love of lists, here are 6 tips to ensure you’re sending the right vibe:

  • Acknowledge Your Fears – Name them, accept them,  then tell yourself that your fears don’t define you (do all of this out loud if you can) Once revealed, it’s harder for those fears to sneak in
  • Give Yourself a Pep Talk – Remind yourself of your awesomeness and that NO ONE is better than you
  • Focus On Your Message – What are you trying to convey? Confidence, warmth, concern, admiration, joy, seriousness? Be clear on your intention and why this is important to you
  • Expect Acceptance – When speaking with others, expect that they will like and accept you as you are
  • Shake Off Mistakes – If you misstep or let that fear creep in during the conversation, shake it off and get right back on track
  • Be Aware of Non-Verbals – Make sure your body language and facial expressions are congruent with the vibe you’re sending – these are what people will perceive first about you

Follow these tips right before you speak.  Whether this is one-on-one or with a group, the same rules apply.  Just be you! You ARE awesome!!

Comment above which nasty little fears have a tendency to creep up on you and how you battle these vibe villains!

Living Your Dream, One Step at a Time

Many of you know that I fall under the ranks of “multi-passionate”.  The idea of settling on just one “thing” horrifies me.  I’m always looking at the new, exciting and shiny.  I embrace change (for the most part).  I enjoy trying new things.  Some things stick, others enjoy the short-lived “Flavor of the Month” title. One thing is certain:  If I hadn’t taken some sort of action, I’d never know what “stuck”.

The other night, I was reviewing my business finances and preparing an expense report for my accountant.  It reminded me of how far I’ve come in the past year.  For years I’d said I’d NEVER want to be an entrepreneur.  Dealing with finances and taxes?  Bleh!!!! No thanks!  But then I realized how I could turn my passion for helping people into a business.

That was about as specific as my business plan was.  I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to do it, but I was determined to at least try.  I enrolled in training workshops, watched webinars, listened to podcasts, read books, hired professionals.  I learned so much!! More than I thought I was capable of.

I was DEFINITELY outside my comfort zone, but I was learning so much and trying so many new things.  I did it all at my own pace.  I made mistakes and survived.  I had those self-doubts, “Who do you think you are? What do you know about being an entrepreneur?” They hurt and at times I considered the validity of those questions for longer than I should have.  But then I reflected on them and either took measures to learn what I needed to or just shut down that naysayer in my head.

I also realized that for the most part, people wanted me to succeed and wanted to help me achieve my goals.  I met a ridiculous amount of new and wonderful people, many of whom I expect will be in my life for years to come.

Even though I started this journey knowing virtually nothing about starting a business, one short year later I’ve come a long way.  I had my doubts at certain points but everything came together and I’ve had an incredibly successful first year.

The point, please Watson?  Sorry, the point is that I would not have discovered this had I not taken the first step.  Here’s a quote by Lisa Sasevich to illustrate this, “God can’t course-correct you when you’re standing still.”  If you don’t take some sort of action, you may be missing out on some golden nugget of awesomeness in your life.

What are you passionate about or even just interested in?  What’s something you’ve wondered about or dreamt of doing?  It doesn’t have to be starting your own business.  It could be learning about photography, owning a beach home, leading a yoga class.  Stop waiting and take the first step.  That’s it.  Just the first one.  When you’re ready you can consider what the second step is, but do something!

All my readers have contributed to my success and feeling of fulfillment, so please accept my most heartfelt and sincere “THANK YOU”!!!  I look forward to creating even more exciting ways to serve you in Year 2.  (Have some ideas on how I could add value to your life?  Please share them with me in the ‘Contact Me’ section.)

Tell me in the comments section something you’ve fantasized about doing and what the first step is on that journey.

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email April@AuthenticLifeChronicles.com 

Shutting the Pie Hole – 10 Tips to Being a Better Listener

Have you ever had a conversation with a person who looks like a fish out of water when you’re speaking?  The one whose mouth keeps opening and closing as they attempt to say what they need to say even though you’re not finished yet?  Annoying, right?

Listening can be so hard but it is so important.  Everyone has great words of wisdom to impart on others.  But in our rush to help, solve or just provide evidence of our superior intelligence to others, we may miss the best parts of what someone is saying.

This lack of listening is not always done with bad intentions.  For instance, I used to frequently (and still do occasionally if I’m being honest) try to finish people’s sentences.  I did (do) this to either help them out if they were struggling to find a particular word or to show that I was (am) paying attention and TOTALLY got what they were saying.  The only problem with this was my accuracy was only like 90%.

I didn’t realize how annoying this was until other people started doing it to me.  I also became hyper-aware of people doing it to others.  (The ‘fish out of water’ analogy is based on these observations).

People have so much to say, blah, blah, blah.  Shutting the pie hole is THE BEST way to learn where another person is coming from. And if you need to influence them in some way with your words, you really need to know where they’re coming from. Here are 10 tips to help you become a better listener:

  1. REMOVE ALL DISTRACTIONS – silence cell phone, hold calls, close doors (if possible) and tell any unexpected visitors you’ll catch up with them later.
  2. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT – this communicates that you are intently focused on only the other person.
  3. KEEP YOUR BODY LANGUAGE OPEN – uncross arms and legs and lean towards the speaker.
  4. NOD YOUR HEAD to indicate understanding and attention.
  5. GIVE VERBAL CUES that encourage the speaker to continue – like ‘mmhmmm’, ‘yes’, ‘right’, ‘I see’, etc.
  6. TAKE NOTES only if appropriate – this includes what they are saying and any responses of yours you don’t want to forget
  7. DON’T INTERRUPT! – no matter what you’re feeling, allow the speaker to share their perceptions and feelings.
  8. START YOUR RESPONSE WITH A QUESTION – once the other person is done speaking, FORCE yourself to start your response with a question.  This could allow for further elaboration (ie: “When you say ‘yelled at you’ do you mean increased volume or tone of voice?”) or to confirm you understood them correctly by paraphrasing (“If I understand correctly, you feel belittled when you raise an argument. Is that accurate?”).
  9. AVOID COMPARING your similar ‘story’ to theirs – this is not a competition.  Avoid trying to ‘one-up’ them with your ‘bigger’ story.
  10. KEEP YOUR DEFENSES DISENGAGED – how they feel and perceive things is NOT up for debate.  Defending your actions, thoughts or feelings is unnecessary.  Listen to the other person and share your perspective tactfully without trying to counter their perception.

There are times when simply acknowledging the other person and their perception can be enough to avoid any escalated issues.  So never disregard or minimize what another person is feeling.  Perception is reality to that individual.  Respect that.

Odds are that if a person feels heard and understood, they will be much more open to considering opposing perspectives.  “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  – Stephen R. Covey

Your turn:  Share in the comments section a time you listened fully and how this helped prevent an ‘issue’ from forming!