Exploring Your Negativity

I’m a very positive, non-judgmental kinda gal.  However, recently I drove by a billboard that had a woman decked out in German attire holding a nice big mug of beer.  She looked kind of silly.  Well not “kind of”, she looked ridiculous.  As I drove beyond it, I couldn’t stop wondering what she was thinking posing for that billboard dressed like that.   How does she respond when her friends tease her about it?  What about when she’s grocery shopping?  She must get those odd glances from fellow shoppers.  How does she feel about being the “Billboard Lady”?

Then I started wondering: Why do I care? Why am I spending so much energy trying to get in this woman’s head? Why am I feeling such negativity about it?  And then it hit me.  I would never have the kahunas to dress like that and have it plastered on a billboard.  I’d be too worried about what other people thought about it.

I’m all about embracing your authentic self without regard to how others judge you, and yet here I was.  Feeling negativity towards a woman who clearly didn’t give a crap what others thought about her billboard image.  In fact, maybe she felt pride to be the one pictured.  Maybe that’s her German restaurant and she’s damn proud of it.  Either way…You Go German Girl!!

This incident has led me to reflect on my own insecurities when I have a knee-jerk reaction to judge someone else.  These are the questions I ask myself:

Why do I care? – This is the first question to determine where the negativity is coming from.  If it involves harming someone or something else, then I’m probably justified.  Otherwise, it’s likely pointing at an internal issue.

What’s my issue with it? – That middle aged mom clearly wearing her teenage daughter’s clothes.  I’m not the “Fashion Police”.   What’s my issue?  Am I jealous that she can pull it off?  Am I insecure in my relationship and concerned she’ll steal my romantic partner’s attention?

How can I work on this now? – Once I’ve identified the insecurity, I can work on it.  Using the example above, I would ask myself if I’m not confident in my own appearance, what can I do to change that?  Or, if I’m concerned about a straying partner, what work needs to be done in the relationship?  Is that insecurity because I’m not confident in my appearance or is my intuition telling me something is going on?

Ultimately, I’ve found this type of reflection incredibly beneficial to understanding what aspects of my life I need to focus attention on.  Exploring the root cause of any negativity helps me understand myself, and others, better.  Look within first.  It’s a good practice to living a positive, authentic life.

Tell me in the comments section how this resonates with you.

Empty Your Mind to Spark Creativity

There are an endless amount of books and workshops dedicated to the topic of creativity.  We’ve all heard at one point or another that incredibly annoying phrase: “Think outside the box”.  Whether your work is in art, construction, accounting or management, we all need to get creative in order to be innovative and cutting edge in our chosen field.

The creative process begins in our brain.  Many of us, however, are using so much of our brain power to remember “stuff” that we aren’t leaving a whole lot of space for being creative.  We are so busy trying to remember appointments, plans, schedules, dates, names, numbers, facts, responsibilities and about a thousand other things, that we can’t very well afford a lot of time and energy on creativity.

So what to do?  Get all of that “stuff” out of your head! Here are my Top 5 tips to activating your creativity by emptying your mind:

#5 – Learn To Say “No” – You can’t do it all.  Respectfully decline requests and favors that you just don’t have the time (or interest) to do.  Creativity takes time, so using your time wisely will contribute to your pièce de résistance.

#4 – Practice the Two Minute Rule – Sometimes procrastinating on a task uses more energy than if you had just done it in the first place.  A great rule of thumb is if you can take an action on something in two minutes or less, just do it.  This works really well for email and delegating.

#3 – Write (or record) All Those Amazing Ideas – I tend to think of the most ingenious ideas when I’m driving, waking in the middle of the night or showering.  Then I promise myself to remember the idea at a more opportune time.  Which I don’t.  So when the next epiphany strikes, write it down or record it on your phone’s voice recorder immediately (or as soon as you’re out of the shower)!

#2 – Get Everything (yes, EVERYTHING) Out Of Your Head And Down On Paper – This was no easy task, but a truly life-changing one.  I literally wrote down every single thing I was trying to remember:  Upcoming birthday’s, errands to run, emails to send or respond to, phone calls to make, ideas to research and explore, shopping lists, to-do lists and so on.  This exercise took about an hour but resulted in nothing but space in my brain (zero points for any and all jokes resulting from this line!).  I truly had nothing to think about but ideas, concepts and theories.  It was like having Disney World all to myself!

#1 – Use A Project Organization Software Program  – You aren’t freeing your mind if you don’t trust the system you use to maintain all the “stuff” you just emptied. You can use a good old fashioned filing system, but I prefer Nozbe.  (There’s a free version too.) I put everything I wrote down in Tip #2 into my Nozbe account which alerts me when an action is due.  So Nozbe does the remembering for me.

Some of these ideas came from David Allen’s book “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity” which is also featured in my March ‘Recommended Read’.

If you’d like to take your creativity to the ultimate level, I recommend that you check out two of my favorite books on the topic:

“The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield                                                                                                               “Steal Like an Artist” by Austin Kleon

I’m not kidding when I tell you these steps have been life-changing for me.  The first few days after using them, I came up with some really original and creative ideas.  I was also more relaxed and quicker on my feet because I wasn’t using so much of my brain power to remember things.  Tell me in the comments section how you keep your creativity charged.

Hurry Up and Wait – 4 Steps to Achieving your Goals

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I sure am ready for Spring!! Right around the end of February each year, I start to get that itch to go outside and do things.  (That ‘itch’ is in hibernation pretty much from November through February for me!)

As Spring in New England approaches, I plan hikes and excursions and bike rides and picnics and parties and horseback riding and on and on and on.  There’s just one little thing…I don’t actually DO half of it.  I talk about it excitedly, even research where I’ll go or how I’ll do it, but ultimately, it’s the same old, same old.

I’m in this big rush to do stuff, and then I wait for the next weekend or holiday or season.  But when November returns, I realize I really haven’t done what I was so excited about in the Spring and Summer.  So how is this year going to be different? I’m so glad you asked!

First I’m going to identify my goals.  My youngest will be college-bound in only two years, so I want to put an even bigger emphasis on quality family time.   I want to be more physically fit than I was last year.  I want to focus on delivering more innovative, kickass results professionally.  I want to build relationships with more people beyond my inner circle.

Then I’m going to brainstorm actions that support those goals.  I will consult with family members to come up with activities we can do that everyone will enjoy and commit to.  To meet my physical goal, I will reach out to those who can help keep me motivated and challenge me (I have WAY too many “Mud Runner” friends!!!).  I will avoid “death by research” and take action on my findings each week.  I will schedule time to network or take advantage of opportunities that will expose me to new people.

Weekly ‘pulse’ checks will keep me on track.  I will review my week every Sunday to see which goals I met and any periods where I went off track.  Then I will look at the week ahead and ensure there are enough actions planned that align with my goals.  As new opportunities arise, I will ask myself if they will contribute to, or take away from, my goals.

Finally, I’ll yell it from the rooftop!  For a little accountability fun, I’m going to make sure anyone and everyone is aware of my goals AND schedule a time to Pay the Piper! There’s nothing like a weekly blog for this step!! SOOOO….my November 16th, 2014 blog post will be my “Pay the Piper” post (say THAT ten times fast!!)!

So tell me in the comments section, when do you find yourself ‘hurrying up just to wait’, which of the four steps above would help you the most and what tips do you have to ensure you accomplish your goals!  I’d love to hear from you!!

8 Tips to Upping your Proactive Prowess

Are you exhausted after work each day?  Mentally and physically drained?  Do you feel like most days you are just putting out one “fire” after another?  I know I’ve been there and I speak to people almost every day who are there.  This type of energy expenditure is not sustainable.

First of all, let’s consider your health.  It is not healthy to be in a “state of emergency” every day.  Our bodies aren’t equipped to deal with constant “fight or flight” issues.  This type of overwhelm can result in poor eating and exercise habits potentially resulting in increased blood pressure, elevated cholesterol and other health concerns.

Secondly, if we use all of our energy in our work, what will we have left to give ourselves and those we love?   We need to nurture ourselves and our relationships.  Over time, neglecting these areas of our life can lead to depression.

Thirdly, how does this look from a professional standpoint?  While we all have to be able to react to a work crisis effectively, it shouldn’t be consuming our every day.  Put yourself in your boss’s or client’s place for a moment.  Would you promote/hire the person who put the most fires out, or the one who prevented the most fires?

Ready to hop off this fiery crazy-train?  Here are 8 tips to upping your proactive (Smokey the Bear) skills so you can save your reactive (Firefighter) ones for real crises:

  • Take a Crisis Inventory – Write down the most common fires that occur in your day-to-day operations.  This may include an employee calling out of work, an angry customer, a piece of equipment breaking, etc. (You are likely going to have to do this exercise on your own time if you are too busy putting out fires every day).
  • Make a Plan – Using your Crisis Inventory, make a list of actions you could take to address each issue, then actions you could take to prevent each one.
  • Communicate to the Team – If you have others on your team, it’s likely they are dealing with these fires as well.  Communicate your emergency plan with them and leave the plan accessible to them so they can react appropriately without direction from you.
  • Take Breaks – Step away from your work day to regroup and rest.  Eat a healthy snack, turn off the phone for 5 minutes, step outside for some fresh air, you get the idea.  Clear your mind.
  • Keep Sight of the Forest – Don’t get so wrapped up in your fires that you lose sight of the big picture.  What is your ultimate purpose and goal? What potential hot spots could surface over the next month, quarter, year?  Write these down and make a plan for addressing and preventing each one.
  • Quit the Blame Game – Control what you can control.  Take action where you can and act.
  • Use Your Resources – Communicate your needs to others who can help you.  These may exist internally or you may have to outsource, but help is always available.
  • Be a Smoke Detector – Check throughout the day, week and month for “smoke”.  Train your team to do this as well.  If you can catch these hot spots before they become fires, you my friend, will be on your way to becoming a Proactive Master!!

Take control of your workday instead of letting your workday take control of you!   Share in the comments section which one of these steps you need the most and any tips you have to help others take the wheel of the Proactive Train!

Sending the Wrong Vibe – 6 Tips for Conveying the Right Message

I recently had a conversation with someone who is described by others as “ornery”, “cranky”, “miserable” and “mean”.  A few of these same people also threw in that he “had a good heart though”.  I knew him as being a little ‘rough around the edges’, but he had always been pleasant with me.  So when I saw him, I asked how he was, what was new, how life was, etc.  During this conversation, he said something that struck me.  He said something to the effect of, “Life would be so much better if people were just nicer.”

I replayed this conversation many times in my head over the next week.  I tried to see the world through his eyes, considering every possible angle.  Like trying to solve a puzzle, I was trying to correlate his perceptions with those of the people around him.

How could someone, described as he was, be so unaware of how he was contributing to his own unhappiness?  Didn’t he realize that the vibe he was sending to others was off-putting and unapproachable?

I started to think of times when I had an expectation of someone I was speaking to.  Maybe I heard they were condescending or I feared they would be unimpressed with me.  And guess what?  Most of the time I was right, but not because of who they were, but because of who I was projecting myself to be.

Was it possible that I was sending a vibe that invited someone to be condescending with me?  Could I be unimpressive because that’s the unspoken message I was conveying to them?

Call it “Law of Attraction”, “Power of Suggestion” or “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy”…I’ve found it to be true.  As so many of you have commented on your love of lists, here are 6 tips to ensure you’re sending the right vibe:

  • Acknowledge Your Fears – Name them, accept them,  then tell yourself that your fears don’t define you (do all of this out loud if you can) Once revealed, it’s harder for those fears to sneak in
  • Give Yourself a Pep Talk – Remind yourself of your awesomeness and that NO ONE is better than you
  • Focus On Your Message – What are you trying to convey? Confidence, warmth, concern, admiration, joy, seriousness? Be clear on your intention and why this is important to you
  • Expect Acceptance – When speaking with others, expect that they will like and accept you as you are
  • Shake Off Mistakes – If you misstep or let that fear creep in during the conversation, shake it off and get right back on track
  • Be Aware of Non-Verbals – Make sure your body language and facial expressions are congruent with the vibe you’re sending – these are what people will perceive first about you

Follow these tips right before you speak.  Whether this is one-on-one or with a group, the same rules apply.  Just be you! You ARE awesome!!

Comment above which nasty little fears have a tendency to creep up on you and how you battle these vibe villains!

Living Your Dream, One Step at a Time

Many of you know that I fall under the ranks of “multi-passionate”.  The idea of settling on just one “thing” horrifies me.  I’m always looking at the new, exciting and shiny.  I embrace change (for the most part).  I enjoy trying new things.  Some things stick, others enjoy the short-lived “Flavor of the Month” title. One thing is certain:  If I hadn’t taken some sort of action, I’d never know what “stuck”.

The other night, I was reviewing my business finances and preparing an expense report for my accountant.  It reminded me of how far I’ve come in the past year.  For years I’d said I’d NEVER want to be an entrepreneur.  Dealing with finances and taxes?  Bleh!!!! No thanks!  But then I realized how I could turn my passion for helping people into a business.

That was about as specific as my business plan was.  I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to do it, but I was determined to at least try.  I enrolled in training workshops, watched webinars, listened to podcasts, read books, hired professionals.  I learned so much!! More than I thought I was capable of.

I was DEFINITELY outside my comfort zone, but I was learning so much and trying so many new things.  I did it all at my own pace.  I made mistakes and survived.  I had those self-doubts, “Who do you think you are? What do you know about being an entrepreneur?” They hurt and at times I considered the validity of those questions for longer than I should have.  But then I reflected on them and either took measures to learn what I needed to or just shut down that naysayer in my head.

I also realized that for the most part, people wanted me to succeed and wanted to help me achieve my goals.  I met a ridiculous amount of new and wonderful people, many of whom I expect will be in my life for years to come.

Even though I started this journey knowing virtually nothing about starting a business, one short year later I’ve come a long way.  I had my doubts at certain points but everything came together and I’ve had an incredibly successful first year.

The point, please Watson?  Sorry, the point is that I would not have discovered this had I not taken the first step.  Here’s a quote by Lisa Sasevich to illustrate this, “God can’t course-correct you when you’re standing still.”  If you don’t take some sort of action, you may be missing out on some golden nugget of awesomeness in your life.

What are you passionate about or even just interested in?  What’s something you’ve wondered about or dreamt of doing?  It doesn’t have to be starting your own business.  It could be learning about photography, owning a beach home, leading a yoga class.  Stop waiting and take the first step.  That’s it.  Just the first one.  When you’re ready you can consider what the second step is, but do something!

All my readers have contributed to my success and feeling of fulfillment, so please accept my most heartfelt and sincere “THANK YOU”!!!  I look forward to creating even more exciting ways to serve you in Year 2.  (Have some ideas on how I could add value to your life?  Please share them with me in the ‘Contact Me’ section.)

Tell me in the comments section something you’ve fantasized about doing and what the first step is on that journey.

If you would like to partner up and work on living a life by design, then an Empowerment Session is for you! Take advantage of the complimentary strategy session!

If you’d like special offers, updates, and insider-only goodies, SUBSCRIBE to be a VIP! (It’s free and I won’t blow up your in-box!)

email April@AuthenticLifeChronicles.com 

Shutting the Pie Hole – 10 Tips to Being a Better Listener

Have you ever had a conversation with a person who looks like a fish out of water when you’re speaking?  The one whose mouth keeps opening and closing as they attempt to say what they need to say even though you’re not finished yet?  Annoying, right?

Listening can be so hard but it is so important.  Everyone has great words of wisdom to impart on others.  But in our rush to help, solve or just provide evidence of our superior intelligence to others, we may miss the best parts of what someone is saying.

This lack of listening is not always done with bad intentions.  For instance, I used to frequently (and still do occasionally if I’m being honest) try to finish people’s sentences.  I did (do) this to either help them out if they were struggling to find a particular word or to show that I was (am) paying attention and TOTALLY got what they were saying.  The only problem with this was my accuracy was only like 90%.

I didn’t realize how annoying this was until other people started doing it to me.  I also became hyper-aware of people doing it to others.  (The ‘fish out of water’ analogy is based on these observations).

People have so much to say, blah, blah, blah.  Shutting the pie hole is THE BEST way to learn where another person is coming from. And if you need to influence them in some way with your words, you really need to know where they’re coming from. Here are 10 tips to help you become a better listener:

  1. REMOVE ALL DISTRACTIONS – silence cell phone, hold calls, close doors (if possible) and tell any unexpected visitors you’ll catch up with them later.
  2. MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT – this communicates that you are intently focused on only the other person.
  3. KEEP YOUR BODY LANGUAGE OPEN – uncross arms and legs and lean towards the speaker.
  4. NOD YOUR HEAD to indicate understanding and attention.
  5. GIVE VERBAL CUES that encourage the speaker to continue – like ‘mmhmmm’, ‘yes’, ‘right’, ‘I see’, etc.
  6. TAKE NOTES only if appropriate – this includes what they are saying and any responses of yours you don’t want to forget
  7. DON’T INTERRUPT! – no matter what you’re feeling, allow the speaker to share their perceptions and feelings.
  8. START YOUR RESPONSE WITH A QUESTION – once the other person is done speaking, FORCE yourself to start your response with a question.  This could allow for further elaboration (ie: “When you say ‘yelled at you’ do you mean increased volume or tone of voice?”) or to confirm you understood them correctly by paraphrasing (“If I understand correctly, you feel belittled when you raise an argument. Is that accurate?”).
  9. AVOID COMPARING your similar ‘story’ to theirs – this is not a competition.  Avoid trying to ‘one-up’ them with your ‘bigger’ story.
  10. KEEP YOUR DEFENSES DISENGAGED – how they feel and perceive things is NOT up for debate.  Defending your actions, thoughts or feelings is unnecessary.  Listen to the other person and share your perspective tactfully without trying to counter their perception.

There are times when simply acknowledging the other person and their perception can be enough to avoid any escalated issues.  So never disregard or minimize what another person is feeling.  Perception is reality to that individual.  Respect that.

Odds are that if a person feels heard and understood, they will be much more open to considering opposing perspectives.  “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”  – Stephen R. Covey

Your turn:  Share in the comments section a time you listened fully and how this helped prevent an ‘issue’ from forming!

3 Easy Steps to Writing Your Personal Mission Statement

I was always a “go with the flow” kinda gal.  An Eternal Optimist.  In my youth, I was so open to whatever was coming, that I didn’t seize opportunities.  I stumbled upon them.  Or rather, they stumbled upon me.

This is a great way to live…when you’re 20, but not as effective beyond this.  At some point, we need some direction.  A plan.  A goal.  Something to live up to and become.  So this year, how about, instead of “going with the flow” of life, you create a mission and purpose for the year?  Nothing too specific.  A “theme” if you will.  C’mon…I’ll help you!

The key to making a great mission statement is to keep it short and to the point.  You should be able to memorize it pretty quickly.  It will provide just enough information to help you determine when you’re on or off track.

  1. What are you committed to?  I am committed to…
  2. How do you achieve this? By…
  3. Why do you do this? So that…

That’s IT??? Yup, that’s it!!

Here are some examples of what some might look like:

I am committed to living more healthfully this year by eating and preparing more natural foods and increasing physical activities.  I will do this so that I set a good example for my children and feel better.”

I am committed to improving the quality of time spent with my family by having more family meals together, day trips and more focused attention when communicating with them.  I do this so that my family knows I love them above all else and strengthens the bonds we have with each other.”

I am committed to investing in my own personal needs by meditating every day, reading more often and planning alone time.  I do this so I am able to be more fully present in the other areas of my life and feel less stress.”

You can expand on these if you wish, but make sure you can remember your statement.  It should be broad enough to allow for many opportunities that contribute to your mission.

Post it in places where you’ll see it regularly.  Share it with friends and family.  WARNING: Do not get upset or angry when you make choices that conflict with your statement.  It’s not about perfection, it’s about the big picture.  If you are aiming to eat more healthfully, and you do this most of the time, don’t feel bad when you opt for that special treat.  It’s a marathon, not a race!

You can create statements for any area of your life: romantic, professional, parenting, spiritual.  It can also be a fun exercise to create a “couple’s” statement or a “family” statement.

Here’s mine for 2014:

“I am committed to stretching my comfort zone this year by taking more risks and meeting new people.  I will do this so that I accomplish more successes and learn more about myself and others.”

If you’d like to share yours or offer any tips you have, click above in the “comments” section just below the title.  As always, thanks for being here!! <3

 

5 Tips to Achieving your 2014 Resolutions

Happy New Year!! Ahhh, the New Year.  Time to answer the age-old dreaded question…”What’s your New Year’s Resolution?”  The Couch Potato says, “I’d like to lose 28 pounds and run a 5K…in March.”  Uummm, hmmm, ok.  The Jaded One says, “I don’t believe in resolutions.  It’s just another day.”  Oh, well, ok.  Then there are the Greater Middle.  We want to lose weight, get fit, save money, enjoy life, etc. etc. etc.

Déjà vu?  Didn’t we all say that LAST YEAR?  Worry not!  This year CAN be different.  Here are my five tips to achieving this year’s resolution.

#5 – Accountability Buddy – We need some skin in the game!  If you just think about what you want to change and improve, there’s no risk in failing.  No one else will know, right?  C’mon, I don’t know about you, but I can rationalize just about anything that disrupts my comfort.  Find someone who will hold you accountable and see through the BS you’re dishin!

#4 – Clear Measurements – Those wishy-washy, half-assed, conveniently vague resolutions are lame.  “I just want to be healthier” or “I just want to love more” are weak UNLESS you have clear and concrete measurements.  You must answer the HOW then answer it again and again and again.  How do you want to be healthier?  Lose weight. How are you going to go about doing that?  Working out at the gym. How often will you go to the gym? 4 times a week. How are you going to measure your progress? BMI and weight loss. See where this is going?

#3 – Make it Fun – If you didn’t work out for 9 of the 12 months last year, what on earth is going to make that different this year?  It’s got to be fun.  If you hate vegetables, that’s not the route to take to lose weight.  If you love Designer purses, vowing to give them up isn’t going to save you money (because you’ll buy them anyway).  Like jumping on a trampoline?  That’s a great workout…get one.  Wanna save money? Brown bag your lunch and make your own damn coffee for eight or twelve weeks, then reward yourself with the Coach bag you would have bought anyway!

#2 – Several Small Steps – Resolutions have become a pass/fail test.  So if you committed to working out 4 days a week, then skip one, or two, you have now FAILED!  Game Over!  Maybe next year.  Where are the cheese and crackers? Stop this!  Make a list of several small steps you can take every day that contribute to your ultimate goal.  If your fuzzy, wishy-washy goal was to be healthier, make a list of actions that contribute to this.  Eat a healthy breakfast, walk for 20 minutes every day, eat a salad as one of your meals, etc.  This way, if you skip some, you’ve got others that you’ve accomplished, so you don’t feel like a total failure.

#1 – Resolve to Succeed Program – A little self-promotion here…This program that I’ve designed will do all of the above and TONS MORE!! This customized 90 day coaching program will ensure that you achieve your resolutions and goals this year and give you a framework to achieve any others going forward.  Bottom line- I am going to bust my ass making sure your goals become your accomplishments! Here’s the link to learn more:  http://authenticlifechronicles.com/services/resolve-to-succeed-program/

Ultimately, if you are in the great minority and can follow the first 4, you can make this happen for yourself.  But if you suspect that you will rationalize yourself right out of it, (raise your hand if you’ve been there!) then check out #1 and enroll in my program!  No matter what, I wish you NOTHING BUT SUCCESS in 2014!!

Share below your resolutions and the steps you’re going to take to achieve them!

When ‘It’s All About Me’ Isn’t a Bad Thing

It’s tough being you, isn’t it?  Think for a moment of all the people who rely on you:  Partners, kids, parents, siblings, bosses, co-workers, customers, clients, friends, family and neighbors.  Did I miss anyone?  Are you sure?? I didn’t miss ANYONE???  What about YOU? Do you rely on yourself?  Of course you do!  But how often do you take action on something that serves only you?

Would you run a marathon without preparing your body for it with proper nutrition and exercise? Of course not, yet, isn’t this what you do in life?  You serve all these people, subsisting on caffeine, skipped meals (or fast food if you’re lucky), and minimal sleep.

The word “Selfish” has really been dragged through the mud.  Its connotation is always negative.  Yet, what are you advised to do in an emergency landing of an airplane?  That’s right…place your oxygen mask on BEFORE assisting others.  Nobody is holding up the “Selfish” sign then; they’re too busy getting oxygen!

Giving is important.  Helping others is crucial to feeling contributory.  But you can’t run this marathon of good will if you aren’t taking care of yourself.  This means doing things that directly support you and your well-being.   There are some rules though:

  1. Schedule It – You have to make it part of your day. Every day. Some days it may only be 15 minutes, but do not skip it.
  2. Give Yourself Permission – You can’t waiver on this.  We all have those ‘bottom feeders’ in our Pond of Life, who will take and take and take.  You have to stand up for yourself despite the complaints of these scavengers.
  3. Communicate – Those around you need to know when “You Time” is.  This way they know you are not to be interrupted, barring an absolute emergency.  If that 30 minute bubble bath is your time, make sure your housemates know to keep out.
  4. Don’t Justify – Finally, don’t feel like you need to justify this time to every person in your life.  Sharing this information should be on a “need to know” basis.  A simple, “I’m sorry, I’m not available then…” will suffice.

Energy is like a muscle.  In Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz’s book, “The Power of Full Engagement”, they liken energy, and the need to recharge, to physical muscles.  Overuse of a muscle without allowing enough time for recovery results in soreness, swelling and potential injury.  The same is true with the energy you expend serving others.  Without recharging, you are risking your own health and well-being.

So whether your selfish recharging is 30 minutes of reading, a night out with friends, cooking with the family or a 3 day weekend alone in a cabin, just own it.  C’mon…all those people are relying on you to be your BEST you…they deserve your best, but more importantly, YOU deserve your best. Comment below how you like to recharge and spend your You Time.