10 Ways Being Selfish Helps Others

I’m selfish and I think you should be too.  Sometimes.  Not all the time or most of the time, just some of the time.  Most of us sacrifice a lot to serve others.  We usually do this happily.

But sometimes we give so much that we actually sacrifice ourselves and our well-being in the process.

Every quote I could find on being selfish, was incredibly negative.  No wonder we avoid it.  No wonder we feel bad when we do something for ourselves.  This is not healthy.

Not only are we overworked and living at a dangerous pace, but we hate all over ourselves for being selfish.  There are moments we need to be selfish.  In order to do all that we do, we need to take care of ourselves.  Selfishly.  That’s ok.

Drop the “should’s”.  We don’t have to be martyrs.  Do for others.  Take your responsibilities seriously.  So long as you’re not jeopardizing the health and welfare of another, don’t feel bad when you take a little time just for you.

Here are Ten AWESOMELY SELFISH things you can do to take care of you and not feel like a jerk because it actually helps someone else!

  1. Take a bath…a long one – pollution is bad.  You shouldn’t contribute to it with body odor.
  2. Take a nap. You need to be well rested in order to create World Peace.
  3. Spend 30 minutes doing whatever you want.  Lord knows you’ll spend the majority of the other 23.5 hours helping others.
  4. Watch TV or Read a book.  Living in an alternate world for an hour makes your own reality (and all the characters in it) look pretty darn awesome.
  5. Get a massage.  Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders is a lot easier after one.
  6. Sleep 30 extra minutes.  Your hair may look like crap, but that’s better than the orange suit you’d wear if you actually lunged at that annoying co-worker due to sleep deprivation.
  7. Pretend you don’t know your phone is ringing when that “certain someone” is calling, and let it go to voicemail.  You’d just be short and impatient anyway, which would upset them.  Plus you know they’re going to text/email/call again in 12 minutes anyway.
  8. Go out for a drink with your best buds.  Eat well while you’re at it.  Your family has been dying to eat that boxed macaroni and cheese you refuse to make because it’s “processed crap”.
  9. Order dinner out.  This way no one will have to do the dishes.
  10. Go ahead and buy it.  You’ll assuage someone’s guilt.  When others see that designer purse/large screen TV/snob car you bought yourself, they don’t feel so bad about sucking the life out of you.
At the end of the day, it’s important that we can laugh and celebrate the truly important things in life.

This is more difficult to do if we feel like we’ve sacrificed our own happiness and needs to help others.  Yes, we get happiness and fulfillment from helping others, but we have needs.  And we CAN have both.  We can help others while helping ourselves.  And NO we shouldn’t feel bad about it.

So, what’s your guilty pleasure?  Or, if you’re typically wearing the “Martyr” cape, what selfish act would charge you up enough to get back to conquering the world?  Tell me in the comments section.

Need some coaching on how to meet your needs without sacrificing the long-term needs of the other important people in your life?  Let’s talk!  Send me an email at authenticlifechronicles@gmail.com and set up a complimentary strategy session.  I bet I’ve got JUST the remedy!

Do You REALLY Know What You’re Saying?

I’m not asking this question to be fresh.  I’m really curious.  You know what words you’re using of course, and you may even be aware of your tone, but have you ever watched yourself interact with another person and observed only your body language?  (yeah, me neither.)

I am a huge fan of people watching.  I could watch people for hours.  Especially people interacting with other people.  There are so many observations to be had.  In fact, often when I’m interacting with others, I watch them very carefully to gauge how they’re feeling based on their posture, facial expressions, tone, words, etc.  I’ve learned a lot about human behavior this way.

But I missed the boat on something.

My own non-verbals were living an unmonitored life.  I was so busy trying to assess the other person that I completely failed to evaluate my own behavior.  Once I started paying closer attention, I realized that I had some work to do.  Your body language is often communicating how you really feel.  This is great in some circumstances, but not all.

If your body language is contradicting your words this can, at best, confuse the other person and, at worst, make you look insincere and maybe even dishonest.

According to various studies, body language accounts for 50-75% of all communication.

That means that what you’re saying is actually only half the battle.  I think for the most part, we are all aware of the most common non-verbal expressions and how they could be interpreted by others.  Generally, open posture communicates friendly, open-mindedness, whereas closed posture can indicate hostility, anxiety or disinterest.  OK, so this is all pretty common sense type of stuff.  You might be thinking you know all of this.

But I’m willing to bet that you have a body-language bad habit you’ve been overlooking.

At least I did.  I have a habit of crossing my arms.  This is usually considered a negative form of body language.  I do this because I’m often cold, but sometimes temperature has nothing to do with it.  Sometimes I just didn’t give a shit what the other person was saying.  Sometimes it was my passive-aggressive “F-You”.  But the important point here…

I wasn’t even aware I was doing it.

After reading Joe Navarro’s book, “What Every Body is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-Reading People”, I found myself more aware of what I was doing.  Now I pay closer attention, and quickly adjust my non-verbal’s when I recognize the potential message I’m sending could contradict my words.

By keeping my posture open, situations that used to have the potential to get heated, typically don’t anymore.  Because my words, expressions and body language are in alignment, I help create a more open and relaxed mood, even in tense discussions.

Over the next few days, take notice of the body language you use with others.  How are your feet placed?  Are your legs, crossed (closed posture) or uncrossed (open posture)?  Where are your arms and hands?  Are you standing up straight or slouching? How is your head positioned?   Then, come back here and tell me in the comments section…what is your body language bad habit?

Need some support in aligning your thoughts, hopes and dreams with your actions and behavior?  Email me at AuthenticLifeChronicles@gmail.com to set up a complimentary strategy session.  Together we’ll find the best plan to help you achieve your goals.

Knowing When to Remove Your Superhero Cape

Think of all you’ve accomplished this week.  Amazing, no?  You may have bailed people out of jams at work, helped strangers who were having a hard time, ensured that people you care about had their needs met, physically and/or emotionally.  Not to mention all the other stuff that you were responsible for taking care of.  Quite the warrior you’ve been.  Some may even suggest you’re a superhero.  And rightly so, but even superheroes need a break.

There’s an innate challenge specific to superheroes:  They believe they must not let others see them with their cape off.  Superman, and all the other-worldly characters we’re familiar with, had alternate identities to hide behind, so they didn’t have to face that challenge like we Superhumans do.  When we feel our powers waning, we try to hide it, not allowing others to see this weakness.  But that’s unnecessary and unhealthy.

You need to identify those people in your life who accept you in your most human state.  Maybe it’s just me, but I am always skeptical of those people who seem able to do it all.  Like nothing ruffles them.  They can conquer the world without working up a sweat.  I wonder when (not if) they’re going to crack.  Or I wonder when they allow themselves to just be a flawed human.

The villain in this story of might is your alternate self.  The mere mortal who at the most trying of times threatens to reveal the secret that you are NOT in fact, a superhero and even worse, you’re a fake, a poser, an imposter, a fraud.  This most human side of you, when responsibility becomes almost unbearable, wants to shout to the world that the gig is up.  This villainous version of you can rob you of your powers, and will, if it has to take on even one more burden.  This is full-on overwhelm.

There’s no need to bring yourself to the brink of (super power) destruction.  Take these steps to comfort and coddle your human form so that this “villain” (who’s really just looking out for your human needs) doesn’t threaten to render you powerless:

  • Take off your cape without feeling the need to hide your vulnerability.  In fact, it’s more likely to endear others to you as they’ll be more apt to relate to your more human form.
  • Let someone else wear their cape for a change.  They may have been waiting for you to give them an opportunity to take the lead.
  • Know your power limits.  Overexerting yourself regularly doesn’t strengthen your powers; it weakens them.
  • Tackle big jobs with other superheroes.  You don’t have to save the world all by yourself.
  • Don’t use your cape as a shield to hide the “real you”.  Use your cape like a showpiece of your awesomeness
  • Allow your “Super You” and your “Human You” to work together.  They both have incredible knowledge and experience to contribute to every situation.

Unlike traditional superheroes, we weren’t just born with our powers, nor were they acquired through a spider bite (ewwww!) or exposure to some terrible substance.  We have to work on them, develop them and maintain them.

It’s important that we also focus on other areas of who we are.  Those areas that we tend to think of as weaknesses: distractedness, vulnerability, sadness, anger, disorganization, fear, selfishness.  Partly so that we can empathize with others, and partly so we can better understand these personal forms of Kryptonite and learn how to be Super even when they’re present. (Because you are ya know!!)

Your turn.  Tell me in the comments how you balance your Superpowers with your humanness, flaws and all.

Would you like to own your superpowers, but can’t seem to get out of your own way?  Let’s strategize together.  Set up a complementary strategy session with me, by emailing me at authenticlifechronicles@gmail.com.

4 Tips to Preventing Energy Overdrafts

Each day, you start your day with a supply of energy.  Where you put that energy is largely up to you.  Some circumstances will drain your energy (a long line at Starbucks) and some will feed it (a thoughtful gesture).  You must be wise about how you spend it.  Is it worth it to deplete a large amount of it on that inconsiderate, borderline reckless, driver on your way in to work?  If you expend so much of it so early in your day, what will you have left at the end of the day?  You’ll be overdrawn.  There will be insufficient funds of energy.

You start spending energy right from the moment you wake up.  You can spend it on worrying about a possible event in your day or you can spend it planning how you’ll respond to that possible event.  Which do you think is more energy efficient?

Ok, ok, so you get that.  But now you may be asking “How?”  Here are 4 ways to focus more energy on the positive and less on the negative:

Allow the Universe, Creator or Karma to take care of ‘da fools.  Why would you volunteer for that job?  It pays nothing.  You can try to “teach” people, but if they don’t know and respect you, you don’t exactly have a captive audience.  And are they sharing your lessons with others?  Probably not.  They’re more likely just talking about that jerk who tried to teach them something.

Being unaffected is really annoying to the haters.  That snotty co-worker who refuses to acknowledge your presence? Do you really want to give her some of your precious energy? When people are trying to get under your skin, they get pleasure by your expected reaction.  Act unaffected and you will successfully deter them.  Want to really piss them off?  Have a blissful expression on your face.  Bullies aren’t only in school.  They can be found in any group setting.

Taking the “high road” is not about them, it’s about you.  We know we can’t change other people, only the way we react to them.  But sometimes taking the high road can feel as though we’re letting the bad guys off the hook.  In reality, it’s letting us off the hook.  We have a limited supply of energy, let’s not waste it on the idiots.

Pay attention to the important stuff.  Everything is perspective.  If you recap your day by reliving the crappy driver on your morning commute, Dunkin Donuts coffee screw up, bitchy co-worker, unachievable assignment deadline courtesy of your boss, a difficult client and traffic heading home, how much energy will you have left once you get home? In the big picture of life, do you think you’ll be thinking of these things in your final moments?

Just like those people who come knocking on your door asking if you’d like to switch electricity providers, people and events throughout your day will be clambering for your energy.  You have to budget yourself and make the right choices for you.

You can surround yourself with people and activities that activate energy generation, rather than energy draining.  For some this is loved ones, for others this may be a walk in the woods or a drive in the car.  Be very aware of the energy generators and drainers in your life and make every effort to live accordingly.

Now I’d like to invite you to spend some energy commenting on what those “energy generators” are in your life.  What recharges your battery and feeds your energy supply? Share in the comments section.  Your response may be just what someone else needs!

Need a little help and support balancing your energy budget?  I’m totally here for you!  Send an email to authenticlifechronicles@gmail.com to set up a COMPLIMENTARY Strategy Session with me.

4 Tips to Getting into Focus

Think of all the different areas of your life: relationships, career, family, finances, education, hobbies, health.  Which of those areas are you doing well in?  Which area are you pleased with?  It doesn’t have to be perfect.  How come this area shines above the rest?  I have a theory…

I know I’ve covered this topic multiple times, but it bears repeating.  What you focus on becomes your reality.  This is great if you’re focused on something positive.  This is not so great if you’re focused on something negative.  Tony Robbins puts it another way, “Wherever focus goes, energy flows.”

Now think of an area of your life that you are not happy with.  Are you focused on it?  Let’s say your finances are not where you’d like them.  Are you spending your energy avoiding them? Are you focused on the fact that you don’t have enough money right now?

First, you can’t fix a problem if you can’t face a problem.  Second, focusing on what you don’t have won’t solve the problem either.  Here are 4 tips to easily adjust your focus:

  1. Define your goal – what is your end game?  How would you like this area to turn out?  Don’t be vague.  Be very specific.  Don’t just say, “I want more money.”  How much more? Is it just a one-time gain of $20,000 for example, or is it adding $20,000 to your annual “bottom line”?
  2. Make it compelling – why is it important for you to achieve this goal?  Make a list of why it’s important to you and have it somewhere you’ll see it every day.  A goal of losing 25 pounds is great, but why?  I want to be healthy, I want to lower my blood pressure, I want to have more energy, I want to be able to walk without losing my breath, I want to set a good example for my kids, etc.
  3. List 5 steps you can take – what five things could you do that would bring you closer to your goal?  Baby steps are fine and even encouraged.  Pack your own lunch 3 times per week to save $25.  Walk for 10 minutes each day.  If your steps are too big, you’ll run out of steam.  If you reach the point of feeling like you’re sacrificing, your steps are too big and/or your reasons aren’t compelling enough.
  4. Set yourself up for success – celebrate each step in the right direction you take and don’t beat yourself up if you get off track.

So what area will you give more of your energy to?  Maybe it’s a relationship that isn’t where you’d like it to be, or your career has stalled.  Maybe you don’t make enough time just for you and doing what you love.  Whatever it is, you don’t have to be a victim of your circumstances.  Be a champion and create your own circumstances.

We are a community of pros!  Won’t you share some tips you have in a particular area you’ve been successful in? School us in the comments section on how we can improve too!

Is focusing difficult for you?  Is staying on track a huge opportunity for you?  I get it, I’ve been there.  Let me help you!  Email me at authenticlifechronicles@gmail.com and let’s set up a complimentary strategy session to help you get clarity.

Celebrating Your Womanhood

This coming Tuesday, August 26th is Women’s Equality Day.  Want to know how I’m celebrating it?  I’ll be starting my “Stay-at-home-Mom-for-a-week” vacation.  For as long as I can remember, I’ve taken the first week of school off from work for my kids.  This year, I’ll devote this time to sending my youngest (almost 16) off to school with a healthy breakfast, lunch money and a clean, orderly home on her return.  I also prepare a delicious home-cooked meal for the family each night.

While she’s at school, I’m organizing, donating, cleaning and meal planning.  Doesn’t sound very “Women’s Equality” does it?  But here’s the thing.  While I should make equal compensation for my efforts and results in the workforce, and I should have equal rights and choices, I embrace my femininity. I’m perfectly happy preparing a meal and letting someone else change a tire.  Not that I couldn’t change a tire, but that I’d rather embrace my maternal attributes.  Does that make me less ‘equal’ to males or other females?  I think not.

To be clear, I also have the utmost respect for women who focus on their career path or embrace their masculine attributes, I’ve done this as well.  Being equal doesn’t mean being the same.  We are all different.  We are complex.  As much as I love taking care of my family, I’m also fiercely independent.  I need to do my own thing and have my own space.  I need to be selfish and focus on me at times, and I won’t apologize for it.

Ladies, this Women’s Equality Day, let’s keep three things in mind:

Embrace Your Womanhood – Recognize those attributes that make you, you.  Don’t judge them, don’t sweat the labels others give them.  I say “empathetic” someone else says “soft”.  Whatever.  You say “assertive” someone else says “Bitch”.  Whatever.  You and you alone fill out the “Hello my name is…” tag.

Unashamedly Share Your Successes – Nobody likes a braggart, but don’t be so polite that you fail to share your accomplishments with others.  You busted your ass for that promotion/degree/award-winning-garden, there’s nothing wrong with sharing it.

Celebrate Your ‘Sisters’ – I’ve often felt in battle with other women more than men.  We are not competing against each other (in the grand scheme of things).  There is NOT just one piece of the pie.  There is room for all of us to succeed and shine.  Sure, some may achieve things underhandedly, but they’re in the minority.  Celebrate the achievements of your fellow women.

Whether you’re a housewife or career woman; dressed like you just walked out of a J. Crew catalog or a tattoo parlor; dinner party conversationalist or raunchy joke teller or anywhere in between these, you are awesome and beautiful.  Embrace and celebrate this every day of the year.  Remember, we are setting the example for girls and young women.  It’s our job to empower them to do the same.

Happy Women’s Equality Day to the ladies, with a shout out to the men (of which I’m fortunate to know many) who support and champion this in their lives.  Now ladies, tell me in the comments section what part of you makes you an awesome woman.  And gents, share something amazing about a woman you’ve been honored to know.

11 Ways to Celebrate a Senior Citizen

This coming Thursday August 21st, is “Senior Citizen Day”.  On August 19, 1988, President Ronald Reagan issued Proclamation 5847 creating National Senior Citizens Day to be August 21.  In his Presidential Proclamation (1988), President Reagan said “For all they have achieved throughout life and for all they continue to accomplish, we owe older citizens our thanks and a heartfelt salute. We can best demonstrate our gratitude and esteem by making sure that our communities are good places in which to mature and grow older.”

Here are some stats from the Administration on Aging:

  1. About one in every seven, or 13.7%, of the population is an older American (65 or older)
  2. Persons reaching age 65 have an average life expectancy of an additional 19.2 years (20.4 years for females and 17.8 years for males)
  3. About 28% (12.1 million) of non-institutionalized older persons live alone (8.4 million women, 3.7 million men)
  4. The median income of older persons in 2012 was $27,612 for males and $16,040 for females
  5. In 2013, 8.1 million (18.7 %) Americans age 65 and over were in the labor force (working or actively seeking work), including 4.5 million men (23.5%) and 3.6 million women (14.9%)
  6. Almost half of older women (45%) age 75+ live alone
  7. Over 3.9 million elderly persons (9.1%) were below the poverty level in 2012

Unfortunately, our older citizens are often forgotten.  Yet, these are the people who paved so many paths for the rest of us.  It can be difficult to be confronted with old age…like an old book, the cover is battered and worn, but take the time to open the book and a treasure trove of stories and experiences will unfold.

We are so busy in our lives, raising families, building careers, or just living, that we may unintentionally neglect our older family, friends and neighbors.  Which makes Senior Citizen Day a perfect opportunity to reconnect with our history-makers.

Here are some things you could do to celebrate a senior citizen:

  1. Volunteer at a nursing home – read or just listen
  2. Ask a senior citizen to share their most important life lessons
  3. Help an elderly relative or neighbor do some chores (mowing the lawn, grocery shopping)
  4. Bake a nice treat and hand deliver them to older neighbors
  5. Write a handwritten note to an elderly person and how they have contributed to your life
  6. Contact your local senior center and ask how you can help
  7. Ask an older person to teach you how to do something
  8. Get life advice from a senior citizen
  9. Invite a senior to join you on a scenic drive
  10. Accompany an older friend, neighbor or family member to a doctor’s appointment
  11. Check in on seniors living alone – call and visit regularly

Many seniors have so much wisdom and life experiences they would love to share.  Even if you’ve heard the story a hundred times, ask them to share it again.  Dr. Beverly Block said it perfectly, “As their eyesight is slowly failing, allow them the joy of 20/20 vision again — through hindsight.”

I’d love to hear how you plan on celebrating a senior, so tell me in the comments section!

Why Lefties Really ARE Smarter and More Creative

Are lefties really smarter and more creative than righties?  I think so.  There have been debates and scientific studies about this and I’ve known a few lefties in my day, so I have a theory as to why.

Lefties are challenged with the design of so many common items.  Remember the right handed desks in high school and college?  Using them necessitates a virtual yoga pose for the lefties.  Scissors, even the lefty one’s I’m told, are useless.  Coffee mugs with the cute little sayings?  Yeah, oftentimes only the left-handed drinker is able to see the warning: “Avoid approaching until I’ve had my 2nd cup of coffee!”  Despite these challenges, lefties still work at right handed desks, use scissors and drink from cute little coffee cups.

So back to my theory of why lefties are smarter and more creative than righties.  They have had to adapt to this righty-designed world.  When you are forced to adapt, you have to be creative in how to do so without losing your authenticity.  The more you are required to acclimate, the more thinking and processing you are required to do to make a puzzling situation work.  What a fantastic exercise for the brain.  Might these regular adaptations add to your bank of knowledge, creativity and problem solving skills?

So while lefties only make up between 10-12% of us, I think we all can relate to having to adapt some aspect of ourselves to our environment.  We have all likely had to change in some way in order to live in concert with our world.  Change is growth. We grow and learn from each experience that requires us to adapt and change.  And by change, I mean change how we approach a challenge, not who we are at our core.

Adapters typically ask, “How can this work?”  They don’t stand still and complain about their challenges.  They figure out how to make it work.  This approach is much more productive than simply complaining about them.  So how well do you adapt?  Do you find ways to make your differences work in the world or do you stand still and let your “victim” badge shine?  Personally, I’ve done both, and I can honestly say, adapting was a much more empowering and positive experience.

While my theory is that lefties typically are smarter and more creative, I believe this is true of anyone who has had to adapt in order to coexist in the world, while staying true to their authentic self.  That being said, I’d like to wish my lefty readers a Happy International Left Handers Day this coming Wednesday!!

In the comments section, I’d love to hear how you’ve adapted to your world while staying true to who you really are!

Are you still struggling to integrate who you are with the world? I can help.  Fill out my “Contact Me” form or for AOL mail users, send me an email at authenticlifechronicles@gmail.com and let’s set up a complimentary strategy session.

22 Years of Lessons

Today marks the 22nd anniversary of my most rewarding, challenging and educational job.  Motherhood.  Today is my eldest child’s birthday.  And boy oh boy did I learn a lot from him and this role.  Before I share the lesson’s I’ve learned over these years, I’ll share a bit of the backstory.

I was a young mother.  While most of my friends were graduating college, I was graduating from my carefree youth.  I understood the importance of my role.  There would be no more partying or irresponsible behavior from me.  I embraced this responsibility and was certain I would be awesome at it.  And I was…sometimes.  I also sucked…sometimes.  Here are the key lessons I’ve learned (so far) from this role:

  • There’s no such thing as too much love – I learned how to love unconditionally.  There were conditions on what I approved of, liked and allowed, but never on the love.  There were boundaries and structure, but even when crossed, I loved.
  •  Things don’t matter…memories matter – No matter how cool the toy was, nothing could replace quality time with me.  The new bike was great, but the trail we rode on together was the memory-maker.
  •  Words are meaningless…actions are everything – I could talk and preach and explain all I wanted, but my actions were the lessons.  Most were good, some were not.  I had to learn to align the two.  I was an on-again/off-again smoker after having the kids, so when they called me out on it after preaching to them about never starting, I had to act…and quit.
  •  It’s really ok to be you…not what you think others expect of you – This was my toughest lesson.  Being a young mom, I felt judged by the other parents around me.  I tried to prove to them that I was a good parent and taught my kids the right things.  All this did was suck the fun out of being a parent (and probably sucked for the kids, too).
  •  Screwing up is part of the journey – There’s no owner’s manual for parenting.  So I screwed up…a lot.  And when I did, I said so.  Because this was a lesson for them too.  Not only to gracefully admit mistakes, but to learn from them and improve.

Every single one of these lessons have helped me in all areas of my life.  Business, relationships, as well as parenting.

Now I’d love to hear from you!! What “job” did you learn the most from and what were some of the lessons?

Dealing with Issues in 4 Easy Steps

So you’ve got issues.  Yeah, me too.  Such is life.  How do you get through them?   Do you hide under the  blankets? Charge at them like a warrior?  Cross your fingers that if you ignore them they will eventually  go away?  Think, worry and fret over them?  What if I told you I had a better way?

I know when I’m in ‘fight or flight’ mode, I’m not always thinking clearly.  I’m so focused on the issue that even attempts at figuring it out lands me right back into the worry stage.  So I have a few steps that can help put your issue into digestible, solvable and less stressful chunks.

STEP 1:  First, stop thinking about it.  Yeah, I know, it sounds ridiculous.  It’s very difficult to solve a problem in your head.  You need to write it down.  Seriously.  Write it down.  (like now)

Now take a look at your wording.  If you wrote something like, “I don’t have enough money”, you’re writing what you lack.  Not what you need.  So re-write the problem again stating what you need.  For example, “I need $500 more to cover all of my bills this month.”  Same problem, just a different way of looking at it.

One of the best lessons I learned with driving is to focus on where you want to go.  So if you’re skidding towards an embankment, looking at the embankment will have you more likely to steer right into it.  Whereas if you look at where you want the car to go you are more likely to achieve that.  Moral of the story:  focus on what you want, not on what you lack.

Sometimes our problems involve other people.  News Flash:  We don’t have control over other people.  So it’s important that we focus on what we can do and what we do have control over.

For instance, your issue might be that you want to be in a relationship with someone, but they don’t feel the same way.  Or you want your boss to like you, but they don’t seem to.  These examples are not issues you have complete control over.

So for these, you’ll need to dig deeper and figure out what you need and eliminate any other specific people.  So in the examples above it might be to feel loved and completely accepted by a romantic partner, or to feel respected and competent in your job.  Once you’ve identified what you need, you can follow the “write it down” step.

STEP 2:  Now that you wrote it down, brainstorm ways you could resolve the issue.  In the financial issue used earlier, you could include ideas like getting a part-time job, selling veggies from your garden, using less electricity, selling items on ebay, negotiate a payment plan with a bill collector.  Get the idea?

STEP 3:  This step involves letting go of what you do not have control over.  It may still be a large part of the issue that weighs on you.  This is where you say to God or the Universe or fate, that you trust that good will come to your life through this experience and you release your worry and have faith that the outcome serves a greater purpose, even if it’s unclear to you right now.

STEP 4:  Get going on your brainstormed list.  Start taking action and trying some of the ideas you came up with.  Add to the list, edit it, change it, but keep it growing.  You really do have all the answers within you.  Really.

Thinking alone solves nothing.  Imagine all the great thinkers of the world.  Are they revered for thinking?  NO!! They’re celebrated for taking action!!   Take action and your issue will be conquered!!

Now go to the comments section and tell me your thoughts on this post.  (Your mind is sexy…share it!)

Need some support with this issue?  I’ve so got your back!! Fill out my “Contact Page” (aol users have been having difficulty, so email me at authenticlifechronicles@gmail.com) and let’s clear this up for you!