5 Steps to Confronting Your Flaws

We all have flaws that seem to be on repeat in our lives. Sometimes we aren’t initially aware of these, or they don’t significantly affect us until there is a life change of some sort, like a new job or new relationship, but it doesn’t usually take us long to recognize we have them. It’s what we do after this recognition that determines whether this will be an ongoing challenge, or a crack that we are able to mend over time.

We can be hard on ourselves, and overly self-critical, but despite this, we usually know where our biggest issues lie. Are you always running late? Do you procrastinate until the eleventh hour? Are you overly sensitive, or not sensitive enough? Is organization or time management an issue? Whatever your particular flaws are, it’s important that you confront the one that is most negatively impacting your life right now. Not entirely sure what they are? Ask! Your friends, family, boss, co-workers, clients or customers will leave you a breadcrumb trail of clues if you really don’t know. You just have to pay attention and listen. Once you know what you need to work on, here are five key steps to take on this challenge:

  • Don’t get wrapped up in the fact that you have a flaw – beating yourself up about it, isn’t going to help. You DON’T suck just because you have particular flaw…we ALL have them. You’re no worse for the ones you deal with.
  • Get real about how this flaw is impacting your life – You really have to be honest with yourself and get clear on exactly where this flaw is holding you back. Where does it exhibit itself in your personal life and relationships? How is it impacting you professionally? How could both areas of your life be better if you improved on it? Write these things down so you have a clear picture of what you’re up against.
  • Make a list of helpful resources – How could you get help in this area? List all the people, books, websites, organizations, trainings that you can come up with to address the problem. Do a Google search on “How to improve _______________” Insert your particular flaw and just see all the options that come up. Use different words to describe your challenge so that you have the broadest possible choices. If organization is your issue, try looking up project management tips, time management, etc.
  • Create daily action steps – No amount of research alone is going to change anything until you take action. If you get an idea or learn something, put it into practice to see if it helps. You may need to adjust over time, or try something different altogether, but you won’t know that until you act. Make a list of steps (a short list is best, at least in the beginning) that you stick to every day to make progress in the area you are focused on.
  • Reassess as needed – After a reasonable amount of time has passed, reflect on where you started and where you are now. You may not be a superstar in that area, but I bet you’ll see some progress. It’s important to take the time to celebrate where you’ve made improvements. This will give you the motivation you need to continue on. It can also help you determine if you need to change your approach slightly based on where you are now.

Flaws are a part of life, and while we shouldn’t strive for unattainable perfection, we should work towards improving those that are holding us back from a more productive, fulfilling, and joyful life. When identifying flaws, remember to focus on those you wish to work on. No single person should determine your areas of opportunity. Look for patterns where a particular flaw has exhibited itself multiple times or in multiple places. This is a better factor to consider rather than one individual.

You have most certainly made improvements in your life before. What worked for you? Was it one of the five listed above, or something else? Share in the comment’s section.

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Comments

  1. Outstanding April. You are so right! Everyone has their flaws. I love that you suggested writing a list!! I’ve had it suggested to write what I wish to do for the day down, but never who could help and how…etc. I’m excited to see the outcome of that. 🙂 Thank you!

    • Angela, I love that you’re going to create your own resource list! Be sure to let me know how that works for you!! 🙂

  2. Excellent post April! I agree that everyone has flaws and nobody is perfect. We do not have to be beat ourselves over it. I usually write down the list of resources to address my flaws and get some training. Another way to confront our flaws is to keep an open mind, and pay attention and listen as you mentioned earlier. We probably did not realize some of our flaws, but others do. It would be great that our family and friends sometimes point out our weaknesses so we can work on it.

    • You’re so right, Erin…if we listen, there’s usually a pattern. That’s how I’ve “discovered” many of my flaws. 🙂

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